Be Your Own Warrior (or Whatever)

Then and now and stuff in-between

2012-01-11T20:47:00.001-05:00

When I started this blog, I was in the middle of a crisis. Actually, a pretty dark and cold tunnel of a crisis. You know the ones -- clammy-feeling, musty smelling, light-sucking, just get me out of here, tunnels. Emotionally, I dropped off the face of the earth to so many people. It was just that painful and I had to do everything to stay "here enough" to earn a living to pay the bills and have a roof over my head. My thread, my lifeline, if you will, was my blogs, Facebook and the DailyMile. I knew enough that I needed some kind of social connection.

At the same time, I also knew I needed to take care of myself and that's why I embarked on the intense physical fitness routine and watching every caloric morsel hitting my lips. A little OCD? Maybe. But at least I wasn't running from the pain. In fact, I was running straight into it, hair ablaze, arms flailing and all. Looking back, I am quite proud of myself. Dealing with the emotions was beyond anything I could do but I did deal with it. And because of the intensity of my running and biking, the weight loss was steady, it kept me from smoking (YES!, still smoke free since June of 2010) and it brought back the self-confidence I so desperately needed.

And something else changed: a lot of the self-defeating chatter in my head started to diminish. It wasn't totally gone, but for the first time in my life, I actually needed a "hearing-aid" to hear it. I started to see where a lot of things were “born”, if you will. Some of it has been easy to accept because it makes sense. Some of it I still struggle with.

Dr. B

The reason I make note of all this is because even though I have gained some weight back (less than 10 lbs), I am not beating myself up and calling myself a failure like I have in the past. Am I disappointed? Yes. But I also know that some of the weight gain was due to my injuries. I also wanted/needed to give my attention to a promising relationship that was unfolding with Bev. Of course, that entailed dinner dates and “oh what the heck” decadent desserts, etc. Those extra carefree calories added up and then started latching on to my hips…

Fortunately, Bev, being a runner and a doctor, understands completely what it takes to get back to the “badass” (as reader Meg puts it – thanks Meg, I love it), both mentally, emotionally and physically. So I have her full support on eating right and tending to my injuries properly. Where she and I differ is she uses running to achieve a deep meditative state. For me, I use running (exercise in general, actually) to get my ADHD mind to track two or three things at once, instead of 5 or 6.

So that’s where I am at. Not exactly starting over, but I am not where I was 6 months ago. In the grand scheme of things, I am exactly where I want and need to be in the pursuit of true happiness. Now I am just fine tuning and living the dream …

Well, hello, 2012!

2012-01-05T12:24:00.000-05:00

July 17th...

My last blog post.

That was a long time ago. From the respect of my last work out, my last mischievous night out with friends, my last time that my body wasn't fighting some kind of pain, it seems like eons.

But from the perspective that my heart doesn't hurt anymore, that I do have the ability to move on in life, that my future can be all that I dreamed it could be, July 17th seems like just a few weeks ago.

So much has happened from the perspective of the glass half full side, it's hard for me to remember that I used to believe that the glass could go empty.

Although the order on how things transpired for me was not exactly textbook, I have still arrived at the place that I need and deserve to be. I used my own map I suppose (and as many would say, that is not unusual for me). I chose not to use the breadcrumb trail as my "just in case" safety net, because there is no good reason to trace back to all the pain and loss. My map, push pinned with events and markers, will be forever etched in my heart, but never to be used again. My path is of my own doing because I need to discover new things. And some of it is serendipity because my mind and heart is open to that sort of thing. But all of it is perfect. On the sidelines stood my friends, family and therapist cheering me on.

In late July, at the Folk Festival, I met a wonderful person who I made a near instant connection with. It was truly a chance encounter because this person, like many of the other thousands of people that traveled from all over to attend the festival, was from a great distance away. Lots of things in common: running, hiking, travel, age, appreciation of nature -- all "surfacey"stuff. And from the deeper, softer and vulnerable under belly side of life, our hearts and minds share the ideas of Buddhism, emotional depth, heartbreak, intelligence, honesty and truth in self. On the flip side, there are plenty of differences that leave us discovering something new whenever we are together (and even when we are not).

The challenge has been the issue of it being a long distance relationship, something I have had no experience at. It presents interesting hurdles, particularly in the test of communication (and believe me, it has been tested), but I believe it has made me more aware of the words I choose since inflection in emails and text messages can't be used.

I feel happy, blessed and in love. Thank you, Bev, for being more than enough. More than I ever thought was possible and dared to dream of. Your compassion, intelligence and thoughtfulness truly has no bounds and I am thrilled we both took a chance on things when we both have experienced a lot of ill.

So the summer surprise presented me the major change in my life. Soon it will be 6 months and it feels like it was yesterday.

Next has been my photography, which from my perspective, I have had a great deal of success in the recognition, improvement and actually selling of my craft. I have been actively honing my skills through online webinars and have had the opportunity to add to my coveted equipment list through some savings and generous x-mas gifts.

I added a family member: a 14 month old cat. Ceeatee is a long haired, solid black cat that I got from the local shelter. I should call her "love bug", because that's all she is...13 lbs of bug! She keeps me amused and I couldn't ask for a better personality in a pet.

I was not aware of the problem of black cats and the lack of "adoptability", if you will. Seems as though a lot of folks are superstitious. I have suffered no omens or bad luck so perhaps she will be my good luck charm instead!

I have been somewhat successful at being aware of my food consumption despite everything that has changed for me. I have gained some weight back mainly due to the fact that I had to stop working out (running) because of the ankle/lower leg injuries. But with the new year, I need to get back in the swing of things. So I have signed up for the "Wild Rover Series" and I am have also registered for the IronGirl in Clearwater in April. 4 races in the next 3.5 months. That should get me back to where I want to be (and need to be).

In the end, I am happy to usher in a new year. Looking back, 2011 was a very good year with lots of firsts for me. And I truly believe 2012 will be stellar. The possibilities seem endless and I hope the same goes for all of you.

Happy New Year everyone!

Nerves shot...

2011-07-17T17:01:00.005-04:00

Okay, the Womens World Cup is making me crazy to where I can't watch it without wanting to gnaw on my fingernails, eat 1/2 gallon of chocolate ice cream or drink a 6 pack of beer.

All the choices are not good for me, so I decided to put up my Allied Medal sign that arrived yesterday while I listened to the game. For some reason, that makes it easier to take in the game

And here is what my new decor item looks like

"Avoiding DNF"

It's totally fun. Avoid that DNF! In case anybody is wondering, there is a 13 character limit to these signs (that includes spaces). I would have liked to have gone with "Avoiding A DNF" but I couldn't. I might not have a lot of medals, but they all have a special meaning and deserved to be honored.

Okay, so in this short entry, the USA has scored going up 2-1. This game is making me go

Wacko!

Yes, this is a beer. I have 3 of 'em in my fridge. Really close to popping one open....

EDIT: Even though Japan ultimately won the World Cup, the US Womens Team has everything to be proud of. If there was a team that I would like to see the US lose to, if it had to be, then Japan was my ideal choice. The country has had a devastating year and anything to help the country heal its wounds, then I am all for it. We had the world supporting the US 10 years ago so there is no reason why we can't reciprocate... Congrats Japan!

"Ham-a" Time - Inaugural BAA 10K - Race Report

2011-07-15T20:12:00.001-04:00

Here is my race report for the BAA 10K held on June 26th in Boston.

I will be honest, I didn't want to run this. I had signed up for it on May 4 with all the right intentions. But as the month of May progressed, my left shin was getting worse in the pain category. May 25th was the last day a ran a single mile. That made the 10K the first time I would run in 30+ days. During that 30 day span, I did continue to ride the bike for endurance, but obviously there is a difference.

Dailey Miler Michelle V.

But since I had paid $55 for the race registration and I needed to do it. I think also, the reason I tried to talk myself out of it was because it was my first 10K ever. And I had some butterflies and fear of failure for the longer than normal distance.

So I was up at 4:30, out the door at 6:00 and on the Boston Common at 7:15.

While waiting with 4000 other runners on the Common, I just happened to look up and there was my fellow DailyMiler friend, Michelle V, walking right by me. The first and last time I saw her was the first week of March at the Lowell 5 miler. So it was a pleasant surprise. Because the odds of running into someone I knew were so slim, I knew it was meant to be.

Thumbs up for the finish line!

Michelle and I decided to run together since we had very close mile paces. This was the first time I have run a single mile with anyone, including non-race miles. And it was quite nice actually despite the 95% humidity and a right leg that was letting me know that the bone bruise injury I suffered from 4 weeks prior was not quite healed.

The miles did go by quickly. Water stops at each mile. I would grab a water to drink and one to splash over me. Cheering spectators lined the entire race route which was exceptionally nice too.

Ham-a time

I was a total ham for the finish line camera. And I didn't care. I have learned that each race I have done this year (this was #8) there has been an absolute special meaning for me. This one was a distance challenge. Not the greatest time, but I did it. I got it done.

The BAA had a great after run spread with fresh fruit, granola, bagels, water and power drinks. There was also a band and plenty of vendors. Unfortunately, I couldn't partake in the festivities because I had to race back to Lowell to get my artwork out of the gallery. But I did manage to grab a lot of the food items and a couple of waters for the ride home.

All in all, I am glad I ran this and I am especially glad I got to run it with a friend. Thanks Michelle!

Bling, bling

Ain't life a b!7#h

2011-07-08T23:01:00.004-04:00

So I am grumpy. And you need to let me be grumpy. Even just for a minute.

I only have ran 13.6 miles since May 11th. Yep, 13.6 measly miles. Just barely a 1/2 marathons worth of pavement kissing miles. Not because I don't want to, but all due to injury.

As you know, I was plagued with a left shin problem. To the point that I thought it might be a stress fracture. So after my May 11th run, I decided it was best to really give it a rest and see if I could get it to heal 100%. Everything was going as planned. I was still putting the miles in via my bike and I was doing some weight training to keep up the variety. The left shin was finally really healing.

Then on May 20th, I had my emergency toolbox (about 15lbs) fall out of my vehicle and onto my right shin. I knew as soon as it happened it was gonna be a goose egg. And it was. But I decided to give it a week or two before I attempted to run on it.

In the end, I went an entire 5 weeks before running on it and then ran the BAA 10K. That was June 26th. And I am so paying for that 10K. I totally aggravated the piss out of my right shin that the whole thing is radiating pain, like a severe shin splint and it is swollen. And I am pissed. I fought with the treadmill blues all winter long just fantasizing about running outside in warm to hot weather and it looks like the whole summer is going to go by before I can get another mile in.

Arrgghh. I can start to feel my clothes fit different, I have had to cut back on certain foods and I can say that stress is getting to me quicker. I am gonna have to do more biking I suppose. I'd walk more, but it even hurts to walk at this point.

Okay, I am done with that.

For now.

On to something a little funny. I reread my blog post from July 3rd and I came up with a great idea for the race medals I am accumulating. What I said in that post was that I was not racing for placing or for speed, but racing to avoid a "DNF". That's when I said to myself "Avoiding DNF". I scooted on over to Allied Medal Displays and created a custom medal display that looks like this

I should be getting it in a week or two. It was expensive, but I figure it beats the system I have right now (thumb tacks into the wall!) And I can splurge just a little.

I think it's so appropriate. Of course, one has to know what "DNF" is (for those who don't, it's a race term for "Did Not Finish"). And that is exactly what I am doing. In so many different aspects of my life, especially in the last year or so, I have been avoiding the "DNF". I avoid the DNF by not quitting. I avoid it by believing in me. I avoid it by putting other peoples hurtful words that have been said to me in the trash. I will always cross that finish line, no matter how difficult the course is. I will always carry me through. I will always finish as a champion, as a warrior. I just will not quit.

Queue in the "Rocky Steps" scene...

Okay, I am done. This has been another menopausal moment. Thanks for tuning in!

Have a super terrific weekend everyone!

;-)

Well, isn't that special

2011-07-03T12:58:00.005-04:00

For the last week, I have been thinking about the fact that I am coming up to the year anniversary of this blog. And I have been wondering what I might say if I was to commemorate it.

You know of course that I could not not recognize it. Because then I would be ignoring something that I consider to be an extension of me, and my readers and commenters who embrace my silliness (thank you). That's not who I am now. A year ago, I could have easily ignored me, like I have done for so long in my life, and put everyone else's needs ahead of mine. That has changed. Now I do put "me" in the equation. I realize I must take care of me first before I can take care of anyone else. It doesn't mean I am selfish like I used to think it was. It just means I am better at being in the moment with others if I have made sure that my needs have been met.

A year ago I was quite a mess, really. I knew everything I needed to do, but to sort through the spaghetti noodles of emotions was nearly impossible on my own. So I enlisted the help of the best therapist (I swear to the universe, she is) and she has truly become a life coach of sorts for me. Menopause can be a bitch for some women. Combine it with PTSD and it kicked my friggin' ass to Timbuktu.

I was so lost that I thought being "up the creek" might have been a better alternative

I have discovered so many cool things about me and I am in such a better place now because I understand me better. With my therapists help, I understand the false belief systems I had, how they molded me and where they came from. And I am learning on how I can break down those belief systems. As I tear down a crippling belief system, so many doors open up. I can feel the fresh air of opportunity sweep me away. It's an awesome feeling.

This blog is mainly about physical health and fitness. I knew that I would never place in a race because I have never been a fast runner. It's not my goal. I just have slow twitch muscles. But I do have a lot of endurance (mainly because I hate quitting). So my goal is to avoid a "DNF". I knew I would never bike race because I have a fear of really getting hurt (did anybody see Saturday's Tour de France bike pileup? Yeah, no thanks...).

But I do love going fast, fast, fast on the bike trail. So I just try to break my fastest time on the trail or set a new personal MPH record (which is 26.2). I knew that I could lift some heavy duty weights for a woman, but I am not doing it to get "ripped". I just want to maintain my strength and bone density so I can remain highly active as I get older (and still be wearing a bikini at the age of 70+)

I am doing the variety of physical fitness things because 1) I lost 35 lbs in the last year and I want to keep it that way (and I am still slowly losing) 2) I never want to smoke another cigarette (I have been smoke free for 14 months ~ not one, even when I have had too many adult beverages) 3) I feel so much more confident about myself now that I look and feel fitter 4) I am absolutely convinced that exercise contributes greatly to a better emotional and mental health state 5) It does natural (and I feel measurable) wonders for menopause 6) I actually achieved the goal of being in a size 6 or smaller for a whole year! (half kidding about that one...) 7) The variety of physical fitness activities is a huge secret ingredient in the success of weight-loss, especially for someone like me with ADHD 8) I love feeling superior...

LOL! JUST KIDDING! REALLY!

I cannot tell you how many people have told me that I look younger and look happier in the last month or so. But it's true. I feel it. I can see it. I feel the worst of the storm is finally over. That isn't to say that there won't be occasional showers and I am sure a hurricane will track right over me. But I have my weather predicting tools, I have my periwinkle rain boots and I have my storm shelter with a rock solid foundation now to provide me the best protection to get to the next sunny day.

So I would like to thank you, my blog readers and commenters, because you have been in integral part to this whole process. You have been part of the healing. I always look forward to the comments, your insights and most of all, your humor. We are all in this together and you all make the path so much sweeter to walk.

Happy Anniversary!

Where o' where

2011-06-27T19:15:00.000-04:00

Have I been lately????

Here and there, everywhere I say!

Yeah, it's been kind of crazy. But hopefully things are going to settle down a bit.

First the GREAT news: I completed my first 10K race yesterday! I know, some of you veterans are like "uh, big deal" and that's okay, I understand. I look up to you hard core milers, so I forgive your attitude and rolling eyes!

MichelleV. and myself

It was the BAA Inaugural 10K and I really tried to talk myself out of it, but I didn't. Another T-Shirt, medal and bib to add to my collection. Yes, my time was awful. But in my defense, I hadn't run a 1/10th of a mile in over 30 days and I have a bone bruise just above my right ankle (that I injured 4 weeks ago). But at least I wasn't last! DailyMiler, Michelle V, a youngster, (as she said to me, "my mom is younger than you"...god love the youth today.... ) kept me motivated and it was the first time I ran with anyone and boy, does that make a difference!

I am in slight pain this today. The bone bruise is hurting and my knees are killing me when going down stairs. The weirdest location for pain? My arms. Don't ask me.

The other great news is with my photography. I submitted some work at a local gallery for a juried exhibit that ran through the month of June. Out of the 5 pieces I submitted, 3 where accepted! I was thrilled. And out of that, my favorite piece was selected as the O'Connor Studios Award for Excellence in Photography! I was so honored! And folks, let me tell you, you could buy two of the high end Garmins with the prize money that I won. I didn't put any of the prize money into running or biking equipment. I bought myself a nice watch to commemorate my first big win and the rest went to computer hardware and software to support the photography. I have a minor showing going on for the month of July and then all is quiet for a while.

All this is a beautiful segue to a blog posting I have been thinking of writing. But I will separate them at this point. It's all about facing fear with a fire in your heart. I have got to think about it some more and try to put into words. Hopefully I will be successful.

To be continued....

Peace out

My surprise secret

2011-06-19T22:09:00.001-04:00

So I have been pretty general about what I eat. I think I am a little embarrassed by my routine meals, to be honest!

Everyone, I am boring, boring, boring when it comes to my meals. I eat the same lunch everyday. I might mix up the type of fruit I take to work (apples, pears or grapes). But every time I start worrying about it, I remind myself that I lost 35 lbs, I have kept it off and I am never hungry. And I lose another 1 lb a month and I am convinced its fat.

I have noticed something that I haven't been able to figure out until tonight: my skin looks much better, especially my facial skin. I have noticed it over the last week or so. And my sister-in-law told me the same thing yesterday, so I now know it's not all in my head! The fine lines have disappeared, the deep laugh lines are shallower. The only thing that I have consistently been doing different for the last 3-4 weeks is eating pineapple. I will go thru half a fresh pineapple a night. Yes, I am absolutely addicted to pineapple.

So I did some research and it turns out that pineapple has so many great health benefits, from speeding up metabolism, to being a natural antioxidant and an anti-inflamitory, to containing enzymes that assist in maintaining the elasticity of your skin. BINGO!

For once, I found a food that I crave, is cheap and that I don't feel guilty about! And I can visibly see the benefits of it. If you love pineapple, I would say give it a try in abundant amounts. It may just be the "magic pill" for you like it has become for me!

Dare devil

2011-06-09T21:02:00.000-04:00

Let me start first by saying I am not a risk taker. I like my routine. I like things safe. I like things that I know work for me and I have a hard time deviating.

But there is a dare devil side of me. Sometimes, if I get dared at something, I will do it. Don't ask me why. I have had some things that have happened to me or I have chosen to partake in that if you knew me you would swear I would never do -- but I did it. I can't predict how or when those events come about. It just happens.

Today, as soon as the end of the work day tolled, I took off for my 14 mile bike ride. I knew very well that we were gonna get hit with bad storms this afternoon, but I believed that I could outride them. I had called my mom to let her know that they were about to get hit by the vicious storms and as near as I could tell, I would be able to eek my 14 mile ride in if I didn't fart around too long. I dared myself.

I made it. From door to trail and trail to door, I made it with 4 minutes to spare. Adrenaline junkie or complete idiot. I believe that it was a mixture of both.

But it wasn't without a near disaster. I almost landed on the hood of a car. I always slow down and unclip at least one shoe at each crossing. At the major roads, I almost come to a complete stop. For small private driveways or roads, I slow down because you can easily see the oncoming traffic.

Well, at one small crossing, a kid was racing his car to a local pond. He was going way too fast for all the small kids, people fishing and boating, etc in the area. For goodness sake, the asphalt road changes to dirt immediately after the bike crossing. It's a friggin' rec area. I didn't see his silver car against the gray asphalt. It was close. He managed to stop and I managed to swerve. It was my fault and I was glad I had already slowed down enough that I could swerve. But still...he was going too fast.

Needless to say, he was pissed. He slammed on his horn as I rode away. I mean what could I do or say? I gave him no hand gestures, no angry looks, no cuss words. I just pedaled away and smiled. I got away with one. I will be more careful next time and less of a dare devil...

A visit to the other side

2011-06-02T06:48:00.002-04:00

For the last couple of weeks or so I have been really fighting for time with my other personal friend, sister, stranger, confidant, troublemaker -- me, the photographer! I don't want to twist myself like a pretzel in a scramble for time, so I am working diligently to find the balance. To find the balance of the peace and serenity that I crave with both physical exercise and my photography. It has been incredibly difficult because I don't want to cheat either desire. I know I need a dosage of both. My runs and rides bring me great peace, time to sort out my days, exert any physical aggression I need to release and maintain my rhythm. But my photography does the same, but the feelings and the intensities are reversed. It's hard to describe, except to say I know I need it.

I think it is the missing piece of my winter months....

Then there comes the part of common sense. Last night I was scheduled for a run. But the state of MA got pummeled by storms and 7 tornados last night. I decided that it was best that I didn't run. Later in the evening, I was tempted by the beautiful sky and ran outside to get a couple of shots around the apartment complex I live in. It was incredible.

By the way, I did contemplate jumping on the treadmill. My question is this: what if we lost power suddenly? I doubt that treadmill gently stops...which means I would smash into the front end of it and I am sure that wouldn't feel good. Has anyone had experience with this?

Here are 3 shots taken between 8:40PM to 9:05PM

The Merrimack River before the storm

Looking outside my apartment window

The canal outside my apt complex

EDIT: I love weather events. I have since I was a child (I wanted to be a meteorologist). If anybody cares, the puffy clouds in the above picture are actually mammatus clouds. I have only seen them a couple of times in my life and they are totally cool. I am kicking myself for not going outside to get a better shot...

I originally titled this post "Sybil: Keeping my other side happy", but I decided that might be crossing a line that if people who don't know me, would take it literally and/or think I was insensitive. I still think it's funny in my warped sense of humor side of me. What's your opinion?

<I~

I wasn't done - Part II

2011-05-30T10:32:00.004-04:00

Geez, I need to shut up. There were three other things I have been meaning to mention, but keep forgetting.

So before I... *ahem*, forget

I signed up for my 1st 10K! When I heard about the BAA 10K I was reluctant. At the time, I was literally hurting from all the aches and pains and I just didn't think I could even do it. But I needed a new goal since I was tiring of 5Ks. I still think I have bitten off more than I can chew physically, but since I have taken some time off from running, I feel so much better. I have no doubt I have the will and the endurance. I just don't know if the joints are gonna start yapping! There's only one way to find out.

I also thought it was fun that I was doing my inaugural 10K on the BAA's inaugural 10 K.

A little tidbit about me: I love stormy weather. Snowstorms, thunderstorms, hurricanes. As long as no one gets hurt. Tornados, on the other hand, scare the heck out of me (although they fascinate me like no other). Because of how I feel about tornados, I would never, ever consider living in the mid-west.

As we all know, the mid-west has been pummeled this year with tornados and what happened to Joplin, Missouri just wrecked me.

But on FB, I follow Runner's World and RW suggested to support Joplin by registering for the Boomtown 5K or 1/2 marathon race (even though it is cancelled) and run it virtually. So that's what I did. I registered for the 5K and on June 11th, I will run a 5K for the people of Joplin. It's nice to know that my registration fees are being used for the recovery efforts. God speed, Joplin.

And finally and certainly not least, I posted at the end of March about an event that I was participating in that was a big deal to me. I know that personal blogs allow you to post what you believe in. But for me, I have chosen not to talk about religion or politics. Those two subjects can be too much of a hate magnet and that's not what I am about.

After the rash of tragic suicides in the fall that involved such young beautiful people I felt that I needed to make a statement. Not in a brash way. Not in an "in your face" way. The NOH8 campaign does just that. In March, the campaign was on it's way to Japan, but because of the earthquake and the tsunami that followed, it was postponed and the campaign came to Boston instead. I heard about it through my online photographers network of friends and decided it was time to take a stand.

We need to start showing young people that it is not okay to promote hate. Although the campaign was started because of Prop 8 in California and same-sex marriage, it can apply to all types of hate: religious, racism, sexism. I am happy to see that such prominent actors/actresses, sports figures, politicians, etc are being the role models they should be. But I am also very happy to see everyday people standing up to make a statement, for whatever their reasons.

I will also confess that as a photographer, I was fascinated in watching the incredibly talented Adam Bouska work before my eyes and see just how a "magazine shoot" might be put together.

So here is my glamour shot, made available finally this week. It is my silent political statement. Peace...

The case of the human gutter ball

2011-05-29T13:52:00.001-04:00

So all this talk this morning made me get out on the bike trail earlier than usual. I wanted to beat the Sunday crowd, enjoy the fine weather and then have the afternoon to go to the movies. It was Groundhog Day, except in reverse from yesterday.

Fairly early in the ride though near tragedy occurred. In my blog entry yesterday I talked of the poor guy and the biking accident I saw. I then posted a few comments to all of you that I have been lucky not to have experience any accidents.

Well, not no more. And I wish I could tell you something really exciting happened that caused my accident. Like me taking a direct hit of bug splatter on my sunglasses causing temporary blindness or me avoiding pinwheeling a poodle or saving a kid from a runaway tricycle. Nope, none of that. It was caused by the natural ornithologist in me. I just happened to see a big fat bird in the creek I was riding past and I took my eyes off the trail a little longer than I should have.

BAM!

The fence I ran into

My bike ran off the pavement and my shoulder slammed into the shoulder high wooden rail fence. Next thing I know, my hand reached up (at about 15 MPH) to get me away from the fence but my fingers got caught between the standing posts. Lovely. A jolt of pain, then the realization that my feet were still clipped in and then the thought "Aw, sh*t, this is gonna hurt."

But I recovered. Just like a bowling ball on it's way into the gutter, but saved by the blowup bumpers.

Dang. Blood everywhere, hand throbbing, but I decided that if I can still bend my fingers, they weren't broke and I could finish the 12 miles I still had to go. And that's what I did. EDIT: Because that's what lunatic warriors do...

Here are the results. It's all blurry, but maybe that's best! No sprains or broken fingers. Very sore shoulder and forearm, and a bruised ego. But that's it.

I realize how much worse this could have been. And I realize that this could have been prevented. If that's my early season lesson, then I will take it. Save the bird watching while I am on my own two feet and not on 2 wheels doing 15 MPH.

Now I am going to get cleaned up and have a pseudo pity party at the theatre with Jack Sparrow and some Swedish Fish.

;-)

I wasn't done

2011-05-29T10:49:00.002-04:00

I woke up this morning (yes, rather late) and I remembered a couple other things I wanted to mention on my blog entry from yesterday...but I forgot. Yes, menopause at its best.

One thing was food. The prices of food have skyrocketed. This month, for the first time ever, I have saved all my receipts to see what it costs to feed me. There is only one of me, so that makes it easy -- and hard.

But between May 9th and May 26th, I plunked done $267 on friggin' food. This is grocery store shopping folks. And I am not talking Whole Foods either. Just run of the mill grocery stores. And the scary thing is this: I am not eating anything extravagant. I am not a cook. No weird recipes calling for exotic ingredients. In fact, my intake of food hasn't changed in nearly a year (except I don't eat any type of meat or fish anymore). I am truly the queen of routine.

My biggest expense is fruits and veggies. But that comprises most of my diet. I probably have at least 7-9 servings of fruits and veggies a day. The next biggie? Coffee. I was buying K-Cups...I know, I know, I should be concerned about the environment, but it was so convenient just making one cup in the morning instead of a 1/2 pot that would wind up getting wasted anyway.

But I did an experiment and bought the "brew your own" K-cup and it has worked out beautifully and cut my coffee expenses by at least 60-70%. I get a single cup convenience without the outrageous expense and I am being kinder to the earth.

The coconut milk creamer and almond milk is expensive, but I just will not substitute those for the regular dairy products anymore. I am almost off of all dairy products. Cottage cheese is still on my list. But now it's once a month instead of weekly. And that's a good thing because cottage cheese went up .30 cents. This wasn't even for a name brand. Just plain old store brand. I couldn't believe it.

Plowing thru the receipts for the month, I can see that technically I have had two "dairy" filled products: a tub of cottage cheese and some Skinny Cow ice cream sandwiches (my summertime addiction). I have been eating these ice cream sandwiches for at least 7 or 8 years. The biggest guilt free treat I can find and they are delicious. If you have never had the opportunity to try them, I encourage you to do so. I know they make other ice cream products, but I haven't tried them.

I have had to laugh that the trend lately is not to restrict yourself when it comes to treats and diets. In fact, I refuse to think of what I eat a "diet" (as in weight-loss). The word "diet" has negative connotations and I have been controlled by it most my life. I think of what I eat as "intake". If I want chocolate, I have chocolate. If I want ice cream, I have ice cream. Yesterday I had Swedish Fish at the movies. I do not restrict myself because it just makes the urges worse. But there is a new trend all over the TV, books and the internet lately: the "I" Diet or the "Compassion" Diet, blah, blah, blah. It only makes sense folks! Just know where the limit is. I can honestly say when you make something a part of your routine, you don't feel deprived and after a while it loses its power. Take for instance chocolate. I was having a piece (not a bar) of chocolate a night. That went on for about 3-4 weeks. Now I don't have that craving. I am not sure if it is because my mind realizes that I can have chocolate without losing control or I just got bored with it. Whichever, I have no chocolate in the house and I don't have that urge to have a secret stash somewhere. Weird.

But don't ask me to give up my sliced Red Delicious apple and peanut butter every night. It just ain't happenin'.

What's your favorite indulgence?

Ping ponging thoughts

2011-05-28T23:30:00.000-04:00

Todays workout entailed a 14 mile ride on the bike. The weather was gorgeous and the ride went so fast because I was thinking of my blog entry for today. My thighs hurt because I have been pushing the resistance training a bit. But it's one of those "feel good" hurts.

Anyway, I was thinking that my approach for the blog entry was gonna be tough. So I decided not to try and figure out how to word anything. I am just gonna throw it all out there because, well, it's all over the place. Lot's of little things that really don't have much to do with workouts, but all to do with a day in the life of Jan.

So to start off, I received an email that 3 out 5 pieces of my photography work were accepted to be displayed in a month long showing at the ALL Art Gallery here in the city. I am thrilled. I really didn't put much thought into what I should submit. I just went with some of the ones I really liked.

I updated my photography website this morning and actually had to start removing photos! I just have so many (over 250) that I really like. But after 5 years, I am not surprised that I have so many. So out with the older and in with the newer.

Like I said, I did a 14 mile ride on the bike trail. And saw my first bike accident. I didn't see it happen, but I saw the result: cop cars, fire trucks and ambulances. The guy was moving, he was wearing a helmet but it looked like his shoulder or arm was badly injured. I have been waiting for this. After nearly 800 miles on that trail, I am surprised I haven''t seen it earlier and I am glad that I haven't personally experienced it. I have come very close though. May the poor guy have good meds and a speedy recovery!

I heard yesterday that Christopher Meloni is leaving Law and Order: SVU. Kind of bummed because I really like him, but I realized something. I think Paul Michael Glaser and Christopher Meloni were separated at birth (never mind that there are a couple of decades between them too). Just sayin'....

I went to see Bridesmaids this afternoon. It was pretty funny. One scene in it I know would make SUAR at Shut Up and Run roar with laughter. If you follow her blog and see the movie, then you know which scene it is! I will probably go see Pirates of the Caribbean tomorrow because I absolutely love "Jack Sparrow".

Somebody hit my vehicle with a rock or something. I saw it just before I got on my bike this afternoon, so I had a little bit of a bent attitude riding. I hate it when somebody feels that it's okay to ruin someone else's property. I know it probably happened in the Hannafords parking lot. At least I wasn't in this parking lot... and if I was, I would never admit it.

And to top off my day, I dropped a toolbox on my ankle. Nice big egg. You know the ones: swells up, no color yet... the awful colors will show up in a day or so. Yup, it friggin' hurt.

I promised you that this would be all over the place. At least I didn't let ya down.

Have a great holiday weekend.

~0
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Emerging

2011-05-25T21:50:00.001-04:00

So this morning, in the blogger comments, I received a subtle hint from Meghan that I haven't been around too much. And Meghan, you are right. It's been a weird month.

So many things tipped me out of my routine. And let me tell you, I am the friggin' queen of routine! Extra doctors appointments, AWFUL New England weather, Blogger down time, family obligations, deadlines for my hobby of photography, new computers and cameras.... Everything is out of whack.

But things are starting to settle down. I have been keeping up with as much of the physical exercise as possible, but there came a point last week when I got on the treadmill for 3 minutes and turned it off. My muscles and joints were screaming and it was at that point I knew I needed a break. So that's what I have done. I kept up with some light bicycling and weight lifting, but the running hasn't been happening.

I have been very active with my photography. I had a deadline last Friday that required all my spare attention for an entire week. I am excited that I may be showing some of my work again in a popular local gallery and I am waiting for the results of that.

This is the time of the year when my photography shuffles up to the top of my priority list. All winter long I just keep my head above water (snow?). I keep myself busy with other stuff, but come spring and summer, I am constantly outside capturing the light. 1.5 weeks ago was a classic example. I spent at least 8 hours wandering around Lowell photographing interesting things and then another 3 or 4 hours in front of my computer processing the images. I love the magic of it all. But the walking is good for me, so I never feel guilty about those days (my longest photo walk is about 13 hours).

Tonight though, I kept a promise to myself and I did a 5K run. It was slow, but it finally didn't feel like someone was stabbing the top of my hamstrings with knives. So the break was good for me physically and mentally.

At what point do you know and give yourself permission for a break?

I can, because it's mine!

2011-05-05T18:43:00.004-04:00

Nope, this has absolutely nothing to do with running, nourishment, menopause, high gas prices, or what have you. Just pure amusement. It's a substitute and a diversion because I have been a total slacker for working out this week. I am reaching for a laugh instead of a bar of chocolate!

Laugh away!

And for those of you who are not "dog people" here's one for the other type furry 4 legged friends

~0
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Welcome, welcome, welcome, Spring!

2011-04-27T23:20:00.001-04:00

Ah, Spring....

Jan is a happy camper! I get to mix things up outside now! Last night was a run through the streets of Lowell, tonight was a trip to the bike trail. Here's some motivation.

And it's time to change up the music. I feel a surge building up in me. Almost like all my workouts this winter were done to just "maintain". Now it's time to crank it up.

So to start off the new playlist, here is my first choice. I have ALWAYS loved this haunting song. Need to find some hills....

Kate Bush - Running Up That Hill (Michael Jt Edit) by Michael JT

Who knew?

2011-04-26T06:54:00.000-04:00

So I was over at Skinnyrunner.com and I read something kind of surprising: split running shorts are "old school". You gotta be kidding me?!

I laughed. As per usual, I never follow the "trends". In fact, I buck 'em! In this case, there is such a limited number of styles for running shorts, I never knew there was possibility that a whole type could be so "passe"

I love my split shorts. I find the regular shorts don't allow me to stretch out comfortably before I start a run. My thighs are no longer the shapely thighs I had at 20 years old. So the circulation cuts off when I do my stretching. Okay, that's an exaggeration, but because of my age, I do an enormous amount of stretching prior to a run and when I wear splits, I don't feel confined when I am stretching out. And for some strange reason, I feel faster in shorts made for RUNNING!

It's kind of like my passion for neon colors (just like reader, Meghan). Considering I am more shy than not and I prefer to blend in with the crowd, when it comes to color, I like to stand out. Strange, but that's me!

One thing to note though. When I googled this "old school" business, I read on various sites that split shorts are making a comeback. So in time, and not by choice, my running fashion pieces will be all the rage! I am glad I am contributing to the revival!

Now this is what I am talking about

2011-04-24T11:54:00.000-04:00

Wow. What a difference a day can make.

Yesterday I was looking at snowflakes. I was looking for gloves. I was looking at the calendar to make sure we were a month into "spring". Heck, I was looking for spring. And I was looking up new cuss words in the dictionary to describe my absolute disappointment in winter wanting to hang on.

Today, looking at my computer @ 11:20 in the AM, it's 70 degrees outside. The cherry blossom trees are in full bloom and look like giant balls of pink cotton candy on sticks lining the canals of Lowell. The specs of purple from the crocuses are peaking out from the new layers of fresh and aromatic mulch. Runners in shorts, walkers with their dogs, kids playing in the playgrounds... it's finally here. A month late, but spring is finally here.

I took my happy ass out for a run. The Brooks Ghost 3's rock. Sorry Mizuno, all things must come to an end. At least for the shoes (I still love their shorts and tech shirts). No shin pain at all. The dull lower back ache is non-existant. The shoes felt like they weren't there at all. No toes getting cramped up, no hot spots, no feet falling asleep. The Brooks felt like my Mizuno Wave Rider 12's from 2 years ago. Let's hope that Brooks doesn't go all wonky like Mizuno did with the Wave Rider 14s.

The new Nike+ GPS watch worked flawlessly. I love its simplicity. I don't need complicated screens. Just keep track of the basics, map it out for me and let me know when I get better.

I went further than the usual route of 3.1 miles. I tacked on an extra 1/2 mile by pushing it a little further down to 77 Merrimack. Not that it was uncomfortable. It's just not my normal route. Time to find some of my edges. I am gonna add a little more distance on each run now. I want and need to push myself. I am not in search of speed (though that would be nice). But I am more in for the long haul. I want to build up the endurance for a 1/2 marathon.

That being said, I can't help but mention that as I was rounding out my last 1/2 mile, a guy came running up beside me and said: "nice pace, you gave me incentive to keep going". TOTAL MUSIC TO MY EARS! That felt really good, considering I have only started taking running seriously/consistently 5 months ago. I never dreamt that I would be told I had a nice pace. Maybe it was just a good pick up line.... hahaha!

Happy Easter/Passover to all.

~0
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Cranky

2011-04-22T21:16:00.002-04:00

I want to run. But today is my "day off". I almost set the bike up on the trainer, but I forced myself to honor the "day off" (though I did the usual walking commute and weight training at lunch).

I sometimes wonder when I am gonna start treating the "day off" day as part of the training plan. That it can be approached and treated in the same manner as a run day or a bike day. I find it so weird that I have a much, much harder time forcing myself to take the day off than to get on the treadmill or the bike. When I don't want to work out, I do and when I need to take a day off, I really want to work out. It's all topsy-turvey.

So I have been doing some research because I am in pain. The piriformis is almost non existent. That really was uncomfortable and I am glad I am 90% healed from that. I truly believe that was caused by my heavy snow boots that I was walking 2.5 miles or more a day in. I haven't worn them in about 4 weeks. I still have a left shin problem, but it's not nearly as bad as it was 5 or 6 weeks ago. The bike trainer has helped tremendously. The latest strange pain is the anterior part of my knees. When I am kneeling on the ground to pump up my bicycle tires or my knee folds under me when I am crawling into bed, I get an extremely painful burning sensation in my knee. Doesn't matter how hard or soft the surface is. Both knees are doing it. This just started about 6-7 weeks ago.

The good news is that I am not alone. I have read quite a few posts on various medical forums about people with the exact same issue, and the pain comes about in the same fashion for them. The bad news? No one really knows what it is. "Something" is inflamed. Young and old. Male and female. Runners, walkers, cyclists.

But I did read one thing today and someone mentioned after seeing their doctor, they found out it was caused by their shoes. I believe that I may have the exact same problem. The Mizunos may have been causing a lot more issues than I realized.

Which leads me back to the first sentence in my post: I want to run. I want to put the new Brooks to the test. I only have 3 miles on them. I want more.

I need to honor myself and my body and give it the break it deserves.

But I can let my mood be cranky. Pass the chocolate, please....

All good things...

2011-04-19T06:15:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was the last day of my vacation.

A photo I captured on my ecotour in FL. I love my dolphins.

It was a much needed vacation. My body was tired from the crazy work schedule, my mind was mush and my heart was heavy. It was a nice 12 days off, full of beautiful weather, dolphins, beaches, races, shopping, good food, great music and best of all, meeting new friends, young friends and old friends. There were things that were missing, but that is to be expected. Life isn't perfect.

Catching the sunset at Clearwater Beach

I didn't have the energy to trek into Boston for the 3rd time in 3 days yesterday. I really wanted to go in and cheer for my blogger and DM friends that were competing in the marathon, but I decided to set up IM alerts and watch the race on TV. The women's race, with Desiree Devila was an incredible nail biter, complete with me jumping up and down in my living room like a frenzied kid on a Slurpee sugar high.

My new Brooks Ghost 3's sat at my front door, begging for me to take them outside and play, but I just didn't think it was too smart since my shin was not hurting per se, but I was aware of it and that I did have an injury 4 weeks ago. I didn't want to push it especially since I had done a 5K just the morning before.

I decided to take a nap before my Dr's appointment. That's when I knew my mind was playing tricks with my body. It worked! After an hour, I got up, ate a piece of chocolate, laced up the Brooks and I was out the door.

Another day complete

The run felt good. The new Nike+ GPS watch acted up and it didn't get a satellite link in time. It tried to tell me that I only did 1.6 miles, but after mapping it out on google maps, I knew I did over 3.2 miles at a 10 minute pace.

I think the Brooks are going to work for me. I did have a real dull lower back ache at mile 3 and I am hoping that is from me just doing the BAA 5K the day before. This is the first time I have done a back to back run. I know it shouldn't be a big deal, but I do need to take that into account. Or maybe the Brooks just have me positioned better and my body isn't used to it. We will see. But I do know that the shoes felt comfortable and that my shin didn't complain.

Today is a bike day. I look forward to it.

Damage Report, Part I

2011-04-18T12:28:00.002-04:00

Yes, this post title is appropriate.

This is a report of the damage to my checking account after two days at the Fitness Expo.

I will confess, I am a shopaholic. I love bargains. I love the latest and greatest products. I can't help it. In my defense, I did have money left over from my FL trip. Actually, a lot more than I thought I would. So since technically I am still on vacation, I can spend it as such... Does my logic make sense? Trust me, as a shopaholic, it does!

The expo was great. Insanely crowded and chaotic. It truly tested me. At one point, I said out loud "I feel like I am on the T" and the immediate crowd around me busted out laughing (the "T" is the public transportation system here in Boston for you out of towners).

As a shopaholic, when I can get running clothing at 50% off, I am gonna go for it! I truly think that the fitness apparel industry is a total rip off and I have no problem wearing last years colors and designs, if you will. There is no TV reality show "The Real Athletes of Lowell" that I have to be concerned about when I am out in public. I am working out. I am sweaty and probably stinky and I don't care if my clothing matches or not. All that John Q Public should be concerned about is "Is she appropriately covered?" (And even in that case, I am getting to a point where I don't care...I love middle age).

That being all said, I did succumb to full price on one piece of clothing. I know, I know, but the shirt pictured on the right is for the marathon weekend and I couldn't resist. And It seems I wasn't the only one. It was sold out on Sunday (I tried to return it on Sunday for a smaller size). Anyway, it's from Mizuno at $25 dollars a pop.

My other item I bought from Mizuno was their Maverick split shorts. I love their split shorts. 2 hidden pockets (one with velcro so nothing bounces out). But the colors are what got me: pink and turquoise. I have no resistance to that color combo. Fortunately, the shorts were at Expo Special price of 20% off. I would have bought them at full price. Did I say I love the color combo?

I bought some moisture wicking socks (3 pairs for $4.99) and pair of Adidas split shorts for $15. I understand why I got 50% off on the shorts. No one else but me would buy 'em. Love the colors...

I also signed up for a 3 year subscription to Women's Running and I landed a cute tech shirt. Great color too!

I am gonna split this post into two parts. I have a lot to say on the next blog entry.

Damage Report, Part II

2011-04-18T12:27:00.003-04:00

So here is part II. If you didn't catch part I to my damage report, here's the link.

I changed. I had to. I wanted to. If something no longer works, be brave and try something new. Don't be afraid to let something go.

I suppose those words can be used for a lot of things. Even for a pair of shoes.

I have been a big fan of the Mizuno Wave Rider. If you have followed my blog, you know that this years Wave Rider model (14) has given me the treat of black toenails and possibly the cause of bad shin splints. Previous years models wore like a dream for me and that's why I stayed with them. I thought I could change my mind about how I felt about the 14s. But the pain continued. Hello, McFly? What part didn't I get???

I have been looking at other manufacturers shoes and it came down to three shoes that I thought would work for me: Nike Air Pegasus, Brooks Ghost 3, and Asics Nimbus. It was just a matter of making the switch. Much easier said than done.

Brooks had a free gait analysis at the expo, so I decided to take advantage of the offering. Brooks was using the Dart Fish Analysis Software. This wasn't a full analysis and I know it was partly a marketing gimmick, but what I wanted to do is to see if the Brooks Ghost 3 was the right shoe for me, before laying down $100. In the end, it was totally cool to see my gait on the big screen (and it looks really good, I might add) and the Ghost 3 was the shoe recommended for me (mainly because of my high arches).

I tried on a pair, I liked how they felt and I am now a Brooks owner (not a fan yet until I get some miles on them). I got 15% off the shoes, a t-shirt and some other offerings. I am really tempted to do a quick 3 miles this afternoon, you know, the infamous "test drive". I would have preferred the other colors (loud neon green), but the lavender will work for me.

Tempted for a run, well, also because I want to try out a new gadget. Yep, I had a weak moment and I am now the owner of a Nike+ GPS Sportwatch. I looked at the Garmins, but I don't wear my reading glasses when running, so I need to be able to see the display. Nike's display is huge. It may not be as fancy as the Garmins, but it has the basics that I need and care about, so it is perfect.

I took it out for a 1/2 mile walk last night and it is incredibly accurate. Fortunately, I was already using the NikePlus website because of my iPod, so I am accustomed to their website (including it's "niggles").

So those all my goodies. I tried a ton of different sports bars and drinks. I purchased 5 tubes of nuun sports drink tablets and a box of YUMMY PRBars. I picked up a ton of race brochures and I can't believe how many races there are out there. I am already planning my next race/vacation. There's a Rock-n-Roll 1/2 marathon in CA on my birthday. I think that may just be my next race vacation. Plenty of time to build up to a half marathon and to party on my birthday (New Year's Eve) somewhere warm? It's a no brainer!

Found out the BAA is having a 10K and I may give that a whirl as a move away from 5Ks. I am kind of getting bored with the 5Ks and need a new challenge.

So there you have it. A great vacation. Lot's of new good memories, met with new and old friends and experienced new and old places.

Back to the grind tomorrow....

BAA 5K Race Recap

2011-04-17T20:45:00.001-04:00

I will be honest, looking out my window at 4:30 AM I did not want to do this race. I just wanted to crawl back into bed. It was a monsoon outside. My windows were rattling. All I could see was sheets of rain. Side ways.

But I looked at the radar and it looked like it might skirt Boston at the race start time. It was gonna be close. I ventured on.

Got that cup of coffee in me, a light snack to keep me satisfied until about 1/2 an hour before race time and I was out the door by 6:00.

I decided to drive to the Wellington MBTA Station in Medford. Since there was no advertised bag drop at the race start, I could at least go back to Wellington and change clothes and then return for the Expo after the race.

I got into town as close to race start time as possible because it was incredibly miserable out. The wind was howling and it was still raining. The last thing I needed was to get colder. Of course, my mind had to remind me where I was just 1 week before...

At the starting line, I chatted with a guy from Toronto, who just 3 weeks prior had been in Cuba for a marathon and a woman from Delaware who was doing the 5K while her husband was going to do the marathon. We were talking about the incredibly unpredictable weather in Boston. But we all agreed that the forecast for the marathon favored the runners tomorrow.

The race officials finally managed to get 4200 runners shoved off the starting line. I really love Boston and it was neat to be running in the streets when in the past I have been relegated to the sidewalks! I tried my best to stay out of the puddles, but wouldn't you know it, I stepped in a big one, which soaked my foot and the splash over caught my other foot. Figures...

I will say this, I have never seen so much pushing and shoving going on like I did with this race. Even after a mile people were still out for themselves. It wasn't anything I experienced personally, I always try to stay to the right unless passing (what a concept). But I witnessed some mean spiritedness out there. By mile 2, things thinned out a bit and I could finally take it up a few notches in speed.

I finished just 9 seconds short of another PR, which, once again surprised me. Yesterday, I finally met in person, Terri, a wonderful fellow blogger and we went to lunch/dinner together. She asked me what my goal pace was. And I couldn't really give an answer because I really don't think of a pace when I am doing races. It's not a goal of mine. I just go out there to enjoy the energy and feel good about the fact that I am still committed to my overall health. If I get faster so be it. Well, that is what has happened lately. I haven't tried to get faster. It just happened. One of these days I will remind myself to try and pick up the pace earlier to see if I can get that sub 30.

The highlight, hands down, was crossing the Boston Marathon Finish Line. It was an awesome feeling. I could hear the cheering and see all the cameras. It felt kind of cool and almost fantasy like. I am hoping they will have pictures available. I would have no problem purchasing them if they were good. I was rather animated at the finish line!

In a big smelly, soggy tent, we collected our finishers medal, and took advantage of the great snacks and water offerings. I look forward to doing this again next year.

And the sun finally emerged...

Iron Girl Race Pics

2011-04-14T20:03:00.000-04:00

I debated a bit as to whether or not I wanted to spend a lot of money on 5 photos. Especially since I am a photographer myself and the price I was paying for the 5 photos was highway robbery. But I decided that the Iron Girl event was a pretty special race and if I am gonna travel about the country doing races, I may as well include the photos as part of the vacation expenses.

So here are two out of the 5. I have also decided that I look much better with palm trees in the background instead of the snowbanks of New England....

I managed to take my Trek out for her first ride outside in 2011. What a beautiful day! Great work out. I am so glad I had 4 weeks of bike trainer riding. Welcome spring...finally!

I am....

2011-04-10T15:10:00.002-04:00

An Iron Girl

I remember the first time I heard the term Iron Girl. I wasn't fond of it. I cringed. They have the Iron Man so why couldn't there be an Iron Woman? But now I get it.

It's all about the empowerment of women and showing young girls and women that we can do anything.

The 2011 Iron Girl in Clearwater, simply put, was amazing. There's always adrenaline before a race, but this had electricity! And it was flowing thru all of us. I know this was the largest race that I have participated in. 3550 1/2 marathoners and 5kers combined. From what I could hear at the start of the race, there were runners from 31 states and quite a few countries (I remember hearing Norway). The Clearwater races were the kick off events for the 2011 Athleta national racing series. I was so happy to be a part of it!

I knew it was going to be huge when I decided that I would park over at Coachman Park and take the trolley across the causeway. I arrived at 5:30, and the parking lot was already 3/4s full for the 7:00 start. And boy, I am glad I did get there that early. The line for the trolley was insane. As it was, I had to wait about 10-15 minutes in line for the journey across the bay.

For once I didn't need the restroom. But I had scoped out where the bank of at least 30 port-o-potties were the day before, so I knew where to go, just in case. I was COLD! I can't believe that I was even cold with a temperature of 70* enveloping me, but it was because of the breeze and my, *ahem*, sunburn! Amazingly, in the sea of people, I met up with Kathryn and Becky, my friends from MA, quite by accident. I was happy I could wish Kathryn good luck for her 1/2 marathon.

They started the 1/2 marathoners 15 minutes ahead of us 5kers. To give you an idea of the field size for the 5k race, there was a 1:50 difference between my gun time and my chip time. And there was still plenty of women behind me at the start. I wouldn't be surprised if towards the rear of the start there was a 4 minutes difference between chip and gun. It was crazy crowded. I have never had to weave in and out of walkers/runners for the first 1/2 mile like I did this morning. But as we rounded the first turn, there was the sun, a large orange ball just hovering above the horizon. A wave of joy almost overwhelmed me. To think where I was exactly one year ago today to where I am now is truly amazing. I am not done working on me yet, but I think the majority of the hard stuff is past me now. Onward to higher and much, much safer ground.

There was incredible effort on my part of having to do a lot of dodging of people. I, of course, wasn't the only one. But I was definitely fast. I was tentative at first because I had no idea where the stage of my healing was with my shin. All I knew is that I hadn't run in quite a few weeks and I didn't want to screw it up for next weeks race in Boston. In the end, I said, "what shin problem?" No pain what-so-ever! The bike trainer paid off!

The one thing I will never forget is they had us turning around slightly on an incline at the start of the causeway bridge. And it gave me an idea of the hundreds of women that were still behind me. It was quite the sight, and I know I wasn't the only one who was overwhelmed by the spectacle.

The finish line came up quick and I could tell I was picking up pace, but not killing myself. In the end, I had a chip time of 31:20 (10:07 pace). I was astounded at my PR. I had a feeling I could PR and I know I would have "smacked down" a great time (my first sub 30) if I hadn't had to contend with the weaving etc. But I am thrilled with the results because I didn't push myself. Like I said, I was cautious because of the shin. I placed 30th out 150 in my age division which is an absolute shocker to me, to be honest. 436 out of 1911. Not bad.

With my shin feeling great, I am now set to run the BAA Boston 5k next weekend. That has a field of 5000.

What I did learn from this is what I suspected for a little while: I am a warm to hot weather runner. All the more reason I will probably wind up living down here before this decade is over with. Yahoo!

From the other side

2011-04-03T20:31:00.000-04:00

One could debate that it is really the "far" side of me, but it is a part of me, nonetheless.

So here is the shameless plug from my other blog!

Close

2011-04-01T07:27:00.000-04:00

A new GU product

Yep, that's the ticket....

LOL.....

Disappearing Act

2011-03-31T19:14:00.000-04:00

It's here!

But I didn't pull the trigger immediately.... and it sold out in less than 3 hours...

Serious pouty face

Actually, I didn't have the moola because my ATM card freaked out yesterday and ate some of my money

(for real)

Where's my chocolate?

Big Things in Little Packages

2011-03-30T21:40:00.000-04:00

Well, this is what I got in the mail yesterday. Yep, my official "come get your bib number" invite for a BAA event. Wow, a year ago, I would never have believed that this race would be my 7th in 2011 alone. But it is. I have come a long way and looking good to boot!

Now, I know it ain't no marathon. But it still feels very special to me. Florida's Iron Girl 5K is HUGE to me emotionally, and to follow it up with the BAA 5K 7 days later, well, let's just say it's gonna be an epic week.

If my shin holds up, then I think it will be time to shift gears to 10Ks. The 5Ks are fine, but I need a challenge. And once I experience those, maybe work towards that 1/2 marathon....

I really doubt I will ever go for a marathon. I think I would wind up doing a Tri before 26.2 miles to be honest. But you just never know with me.

I have been working my tail off on the Kinetic bike trainer. Absolutely loving it. I put my headphones on, turn on the closed captioning on my TV so I can "read" the news and zoom away doing 15 miles in the hour. Talk about multitasking! Right up my alley! And my shin is feeling pretty good. Another week or so of babying it and I will be able to test it out.

Fingers are gonna be crossed!

"Caged Light"

2011-03-27T08:45:00.003-04:00

This is the photo that was accepted in the "Looking at Lowell" exhibit at the Whistler House Museum of Art. It is a photo of the pedestrian sidewalk portion of the Rourke Bridge in Lowell. It was a challenge because I had to wait until it was clear of walkers and cyclists, a very rare moment. And it is one of those types of photos that both the B&W and the color version works. In the end I preferred the B&W. I named it "Caged Light".

What is it?

2011-03-26T22:09:00.000-04:00

What is it about pampering yourself at the salon and then following it up with retail therapy that seems to cure any ratty, nasty, "send the dogs running" bad mood? Actually, my mood wasn't that bad. More kind of like a "pissy about this crappy cold weather" bad mood. IT'S ALMOST APRIL! COME ON!

I hadn't had my hair done in ages. Like September of last year. Like, yes, yes, OMG, I know, that is awful. I chalked it up to not wanting to deal with the snow, driving, digging my vehicle out, that sort of stuff. It certainly wasn't about the money considering this is only the second time in a year that I had my hair tended to.

But now my hair looks sexy terrific, so I am happy. And this weekend is flying by. Got something major going on tomorrow, but I am not going to blog about it until the full results are in (in about 6 weeks). But I am wicked excited and I hope everything turns out the way I hope it does.

Other big news: I had a photograph of mine accepted to be shown at the Whistler House Museum of Art in the Looking at Lowell exhibit. Such an incredible honor! Little by little, my photography is getting noticed. I will need to get over there before I head out on my rac-ation to FL in 1.5 weeks.

And speaking of my rac-ation, I am getting so excited! The emails for the Iron Girl event are pouring in, the IG Facebook status keeps getting updated and I seem to keep checking the average temperatures happening in Clearwater! It has been about 3-5 degrees above average for the last two weeks, so if that keeps up, I will be enveloped in 83-85 degree weather for 7 days...oh darn!

When I decided to do this race, I thought at first I was absolutely nuts. I mean, flying to FL to just to do a race? All by myself? But what I realized that instead of spending my tax return on the usual stuff that will be replaced in a couple of years (ie: my geek gadgets), I purchased a memory that I will never get tired of, that will never be replaced and that is all mine. I truly spent it on me; I invested in my emotional stock.

If it all turns out well, this really may be something I will consider doing a couple of times a year. I have never been to the Pacific North West. I hear it's beautiful... Seeing is believing...

My silent, non-cerebral, whiny post

2011-03-24T06:24:00.005-04:00

Okay, I will be honest....

I started a blog post early this morning and soon I even friggin' bored myself. It was all deep and gushy and just plain old sucked. Or at least it was in my mind.

So let me just give you some visualizations and you can take it from there

'Nuff said?

Out with the old

2011-03-20T18:18:00.000-04:00

I got another hour on the bike trainer completed this morning. The trainer work out is a lot harder than running. Or at least my soaking wet work out clothes is indicating that. It feels really good!

So my intention is to build up endurance. It certainly can't hurt when my overall goal is to get a 1/2 marathon completed this year. I also like the exercise variation (helps with the ADHD). The good news is that apart from smacking my shin on the bike pedal yesterday, I am not in any pain whatsoever today. I am hoping that 3 weeks of this will certainly help the shin. As you can see in the pic on the right, the sweat level is totally different than the sweat level from running. Not sure why that is. But perhaps this will knock me off the weight loss plateau that I have been on for months now.

For at least 5 months I have been hovering at the same weight. Most of the time, it doesn't bother me. I am happy that I have lost as much as I have and have maintained that loss relatively easily. But every once in a while I just don't get what my body is doing. I have to remind myself that things are shifting, and that I am losing weight, just really, really slowly now. So I am convinced that it is fat that I am losing. It's slow, but it is happening.

To assist in the proof of fat loss and throwing out the welcome mat to spring, I did some spring cleaning. I changed out the winter bedspread for the summery one, that sort of thing. Ah, the nice afternoon sun is finally lighting up my apartment!

Onto my proof of fat loss: I decided to clean out my walk-in closet. I tackled the obvious and that was all the clothes that I knew were just too big for me now. I have been hanging on to these clothes "just in case". Just in case I had a relapse, like I have had so many times before. Just in case I went on a 60 day binge of eating only chocolate. Just in case I woke up one day and decided that I am only going to eat at McDonalds for the rest of my life (just shoot me). Just in case menopause really kicks my ass...harder and crueler than it already has.

Just in case I let myself down again.

Well, I have decided that that isn't going to happen. Not just for eating, but in many different ways. It felt good. And on that note, I bagged 27 pairs of jeans and dress slacks, mostly size 10-14. I tried on each pair and ran to the bathroom in awe to look at myself in the full length mirror. I couldn't believe where I was and where I am today. In just one year. I giggled like a little girl and ran out to try on the next pair. It was a fun afternoon!

I bagged up all the clothes, found 6 coats I no longer wear and loaded it all in my vehicle. And in the warm afternoon sun, I drove down to the local church and donated all these wonderful clothes. Somebody will be happy with all my Lucky and Levi jeans, and the Hilfiger and Nautica slacks.

Spring cleanings can be so good. Not just for the mind but also for the heart...

Odds and Ends

2011-03-19T17:16:00.002-04:00

Lots of things happening!

After reading some posts from my friend, Kim S, over at the Dailymile, I realized I had to take my shin pain seriously and not "run through it" like I have been since about December. Kim, unfortunately, has been doing the same thing and is now in a boot and getting ready for an MRI. It was my wake up call. Kim, get healthy as soon as you can, girl!

That being said, I needed to stop running immediately and resort to my bike for consistent exercise. There was no way I could go cold turkey from working out. After my adventure to hit the bike trail on Thursday was thwarted by snowbanks (picture on the right), I knew I needed another solution quick. I looked on Craigslist for a bike trainer. I found one, at a great price, but unfortunately, I never got a reply back from the seller. But an angel was watching over me! I got a 20% off coupon in an email from REI yesterday and that's where I headed last night to pick up a Kurt Kinetic Road Machine. I really wanted the Kurt Rock n Roll trainer, but it cost twice as much. Maybe next year.

After an easy set up, I gave the trainer a ten minute try last night. It felt good. My cycling legs started to "feel it" differently from my running legs. It was the familiar feel that I had on the bike trail last year, so that was a good sign. I vowed to do an hours work out in the morning.

My body must be wracked. I slept 10 hours last night. I never do that. But I shouldn't be surprised. I am averaging 5 hours of sleep on the week nights, sleeping 1/2 hour on the commute into the city, a 1/2 on the commute home and I just haven't been able to get into a healthy rhythm. I know that it's not good for me, but being unemployed is worse, I suppose. It could be also that I fought through a cold last week and my body is saying enough is enough.

But getting that much sleep made me spring out of bed like a bunny rabbit this morning. I downed a cup of coffee, ate a protein bar and before I knew it I was on the bike. I watched some cooking shows, the depressing news on world events and some infomercials. And lickety-split, an hours workout was done. I can live with this for the next few weeks. The Kinetic is sweet. Real road feel to it. And it didn't take long to build up a sweat. Things I learned? Have the remote control for the TV a little closer and have a towel available. I feel tired but in a good sense. And my shin is happy!

This afternoon I went over to Marx Running for some retail therapy. I have been eyeing the Asics Storm Shelter jacket for months now over at Boston City Sports, but I couldn't fathom spending $110 for a jacket. I did find one in the City Sports Basement for $55, but it was black in color and in an extra large. I wanted the berry color. Well, guess what I found? A berry, medium sized, Asics Stormshelter jacket for $55 at Marx! I still had some birthday gift money left over, so in the end I spent next to nothing for it. Good things can come to those who wait (or who are not afflicted with the instant gratification shopping bug).

And it looks like Rex has talked me into not giving up on the Mizuno brand just yet. He had me try on a pair of Elixir performance shoes and I must admit, they felt great. I am gonna give it some thought over the next week or so.

Happy running all!

Obligatory Race Pic and apparel notes

2011-03-14T21:27:00.006-04:00

Less than a mile to go!

Over at the Dailymile this is what I had to say:

"I have no loyalty towards any particular brand. Mizuno shoes, Brooks pants/tights, Asics shirt, Nike jacket and an Adidas hat. The only thing authentic and steady is me!"

I go with what is comfortable. For instance, UA running tights just don't leave a lot of "bootie room" for me and kind of travel up the middle, which, needless to say, is very uncomfortable. But I am obsessed with the UA Womens Mesh underwear (all 3 styles). The Brooks and Mizuno capris and tights fit me great. Mizuno Maverick split shorts are awesome and I can't wait to get back into them once it warms up a bit more. And I will admit the Nike jacket in the above pic was bought because of the colors...but I love it for "in-between" seasons protection. It also helped that it was 50% off on the original price! And for the obnoxious side of me: I absolutely love my Asics shirt pictured above. I can't tell you how many times I would love to say this to some people, but I refrain! Oh, and it's very comfortable... hehehehe. I am in the process of trying to find it in a short sleeve.

But I am thrilled that neon colors are in style. I have such a weakness for the "blinding colors". And if anyone is interested, Marx Running (Lowell store on Merrimack Street) has got GREAT bargains on running gear. Very happy with my "finds" in the store and Rex is a sweetie!

Great finds on name brand running clothes and shoes!

The good news on the shopping front? I think I need to find some new and appropriate running clothes for running in 80* temperatures in FL. I need to be prepped for my vacation in 3 weeks, ya know? Or I just need an excuse for more retail therapy!

Do you have a favorite brand that you can't imagine turning away from?

<I~

Grand Finale of the Wild Rover Series

2011-03-13T20:30:00.000-04:00

Weather report: Partly sunny in the low 50's.

Reality: cold rain showers with a wind chill in the 30's.

Brrr! But this race was for Amy and there was no way I was going to back out.

This was my start to the Hynes Tavern 5 mile Road Race in Lowell. For 30 minutes, in the warmth of my home, I debated on what the heck to wear. I doubled checked the weather. I tripled checked looking out my apartment window. And I cussed a lot. I scratched walking to the start (yeah, I know, lame, but I brought half my running clothes with me because I couldn't decide and I needed my last minute changing room!)

While picking up my bib and t-shirt at the Rogers School, Dave, one of the race directors found me to comment about my blog reviews of the race series. It was quite pleasant talking to Dave: nice, positive and energetic. He has been racing for quite some time and we had a chat about the demographics of racing in general and in the Merrimack Valley. I had made a comment that I never saw these types of race events while living on the south shore and it seemed like there was a different mindset here in the "valley". Dave totally agreed. I feel very lucky to be living here! Thanks, Dave, for a wonderful conversation and your insight!

After race look..not too haggard

The weather seemed like it decided to get worse. I swore mother nature wanted to let some snow flurries go! And because of that, in the parking lot, I did a wardrobe change. I didn't care that anybody saw me in my sports bra. I was determined not to overheat like I have in the last two races. Thank goodness I have a big vehicle. Thank goodness for my determination. My furnace was kept to a simmer for the entire 5 miles.

I kept a close eye out for fellow DMer, Michelle (bib number 261). I was bummed I couldn't find her because I think it would be cool to run with someone who shares almost the exact same pace. It also would be nice to challenge each other to see if we both could get new PRs. But with a sea of people at the start, it is kind of tough.

With the wind at our backs at the start line we were off. I haven't been very deep into this section of Lowell too much, so there were new sites for me to drink in. Going under the Spaghettiville Bridge with a train passing over at the same time was cool! I never knew where that bridge was, even though it is in the news a lot -- it is a common target for 18 wheeler trucks that are too tall for it!

I must admit, I have a love/hate relationship with this time of year. I love the renewal of spring in every sense of the word, but I hate the mess left from winter's sins. A lot of garbage to dodge. Hopefully the city will be out soon to clean it up.

For the most part, the course has gentle rolling hills. Some of them are l-o-n-g, but gentle nonetheless. But it seemed fast to me. I could tell I was apprehensive to open the throttle a bit. This was my first 5 mile race, my longest race distance yet. And even though I set a sub 30 5K PR on the treadmill 2 nights prior, my left shin screamed in agony afterwards. I didn't want to do that today. I had to finish.

I have made it a point to thank the cops and sheriffs for the protection they give us during the races. And in each of the cities, they have all seemed a bit surprised, but have smiled and said "you're welcome". Today was no different. And like the last two races, folks were cheering on the sidelines. I only heard one person complain about how this "happens every friggin' year". Let me just say that she could have used some exercise to change the attitude a bit!

All in all, another well organized fun, scenic race. I did my usual time, which actually kind of surprised me because I thought I was holding back. Oh, there was one thing different. I didn't go for the food first. I made a beeline for the beer! It was cold and went down way too fast!

Michelle did find me after the race. We compared notes, chatted about racing, gave a "thumbs up" for the race bling, especially the completion of the ultra cool finishers medal. We also found out that we are both signed up for the BAA 5K next month, so I am determined to find her before that race starts!

In the end I can say: I can't wait till next year! This series was a blast. You can tell that the race directors put a lot of attention to detail into this. Not only because of their vast experience, but also because of the love of it!

Wild Rover Race Series

2011-03-10T21:10:00.002-05:00

I have been receiving some great comments both here on my blog and over at the Dailymile in regards to the 3 weekend race series that I am participating in. So I figured I would add some information about the Wild Rover Series, because it really is well organized and so much fun so far.

First off, the series is in the cities of Haverhill, Lawrence and Lowell here in MA. If you are a local, you know to drop the second "h" in Haverhill so it sounds like "HAY-vruhl"... really! You know that the movie "The Fighter" was filmed in Lowell and you also know that in Massachusetts, you find any reason to celebrate St. Patty's Day ...even if it is weeks in advance!

The series consists of a 3 mile, a 4 mile and a 5 mile race. What's enticing about the series is the feeling that spring is really getting close! People are itching to come out of hibernation. What better way to really get a great run in and not be on a treadmill looking at least 3 walls and sweaty gym rats? Each race challenges you just a little more with the added mileage.

What's also enticing is the "bling". I have received so many comments about the 3-piece medal and I have to admit, there was no way I was going to let the series slip by without going for the great heavy metal being offered to everyone!

The race organizers have got class and once again they went with a MA company, Ashworth Awards to design and produce the clever, one of a kind, finishers medal. You may recognize some of the medals they produce in this little advertising video

Some other nice touches: your timed results seem to be emailed to you the second you cross the finish line. There is no shortage of water. There are a lot of racers encouraging the middle and the tail end of the packs at the finish line. Hot food for the still coldish days. Great after race parties in the Pubs sponsoring the races. The cops are friendly. The locals are cheering you on. The volunteers are over the top polite. You can't ask for much more.

Some of the proceeds of the Lawrence race goes to the Barry Kara Foundation which helps disadvantaged kids in the Greater Lawrence area. So that's another nice touch.

All around, this is a fun way to clear out the cobwebs and I am so glad I decided to do this 2 months ago even though I only had 2 recent races under my belt. I feel I have been spoiled and the bar has been set "wicked" high for any other race that I do this year!

Claddagh Pub 4 Mile Race recap

2011-03-08T06:35:00.006-05:00

On Sunday, March 6th, I found myself making my way to Lawrence, MA, to compete in the Claddagh Pub 4 Mile race. It was part II of a 3 part race series that I signed up for back in January.

The weather, although cloudy, was a balmy 53 degrees. Finally, it seemed like spring was trying to poke her head out of the dirty snowbanks. This past winter in New England has not been easy and there has been an abnormal amount of treadmill miles ran in the last few months by all runners. But you could hear the relief in peoples voices at the race start line and see the smiles on the faces, that for once, we didn't need layers of clothing to protect us from the elements. Even though sunshine would have been nice, we will take what we can get.

I have never been to downtown Lawrence -- just to the outskirts of the city. It is evident, that like my beloved Lowell, it is a city struggling for a post mill industry identity. It has some ways to go as compared to downtown Lowell. Some sections were downtrodden, but only in appearance. As I ran along Water Street, locals had their children out on their porches waving to the 750 runners, other people smiled and snapped photos on their camera phones from their cars, small business employees stood on the sidewalks, watching in amusement the crazy spectacle. I smiled and waved to all and received the same in return. I love humanity.

Over dressed...again!

Around the 1.5 mile mark was the start of a steady incline. It was subtle, but you could see it. No worries. I handled last weeks hills in Haverhill with better than expected results. I wasn't keeping track of my pace. I was just doing what I normally do. Run to the edge of the "comfortableness" because I am doing this for the health of it. If I improve, so be it, I welcome it. If I don't improve, that's okay. No pressure.

We made our way to the Tower Hill section of town. And then it hit me as we turned the corner onto Cypress Street. The dreaded hill everyone talked of. Yes, it was awful. You know the sensation of when you were a little kid everything seemed so much bigger than it really was? Well, that is how my mind, at 48 years old, felt about this hill. And it was huge, like Mount Everest steep! All I could imagine was whispy clouds floating by at its peak!

I ~~ran~~ jogged 1/3 of it and threw in the towel. There was no point wrecking my shins over it. I had my expensive compression socks on for the first time and I didn't want to judge how well they worked based on this ridiculously steep hill. It seemed a bit unfair.

The hill made a slight jog to the left, so in my mind, I thought redemption of the "flatland" was right around that corner. Wrong! Around the corner I went and then some more hill. Finally, I reached the pinnacle and the water table. I was cussing away in my head, but thanking the volunteers on the outside for the water hand outs.

Going downhill on Lowell Street was not a peach of an experience either. It was joint rattling. But finally I was back on to Riverside Drive, following the mighty Merrimack River and I was on my way back to the heart of the city and to, hopefully, a cup of cold beer!

At the finish line, my time was okay. Not thrilled, but considering I walked a portion of it, I accepted the time the best I could. I didn't think I placed pressure on myself, but it is evident that my disappointment in walking 2/10th of a mile made me feel like a failure. Crazy, but I know there are some of you that can relate to this. The lesson I learned from this is if I can scope out the course ahead of time, I will do that so there are no mental surprises. I think the "hill" knocked the wind out of me physically and mentally.

After race festivities included music, hot baked ziti, salad, bread and beer. The racing bling again was terrific. Nice preshrunk long sleeve T-Shirt (I really like the design) and part II of my three part finishers medal. The organizers of this series are fantastic and I am so glad that I decided to take it on even though it 4 and 5 milers are outside my comfort zone. It has taught me some valuable lessons as a newbie runner!

Bring on the Hynes 5 miler!

The Controversy of the Motivators

2011-03-03T19:47:00.002-05:00

Since being kind of new, but a regular to the runners community, I have noticed that there are two sides of thinking when it comes to racing bling. You know, technical hats and shirts, mugs, stickers, medals, etc -- the wonderful swag given out at races.

I am not ashamed to admit that I like the bling. I do not make any apologies for desiring a finishers medal. Yeah, to the seasoned runner, a finishers medal for a 5K may seem lame. But to you seasoned runners, I ask you to remember when, how and where you had your start too. Whether it be 3 or 30 years ago you had to start somewhere. You had to have some type of motivator to keep you on that treadmill in the dead of winter or to deal with the aches and pains. Maybe it was the runners high, or the PRs or the "me time" (all of which I cherish). Or maybe, just maybe, there are a few of you that raced for the T-shirt or the hat that you could wear with great pride afterwards. The finishers medals are the latest lure for us newbies. I have noticed a not-so-nice attitude coming from the 1/2 and full marathoners in forums and on the blogs about how "lame" the medals seem for the small distance races. It's really too bad that this attitude is emanating. Those seasoned distance runners are really the ambassadors to the sport and the likes of me look up to them as goddesses and gods!

Initially, I took running back up last year for two reasons: to help me quit smoking and to keep me from putting on the weight because I chose to quit smoking. I have been extremely successful at both endeavors. And the motivators I used no longer work for me because I have conquered those battles and it is SO BORING to think about now. The extra cash in my pocket and the much smaller clothes are my constant reminders that I won the battles.

There are many other people out there collecting the bling, but for far more heroic and braver reasons than I will ever experience. Survivors. Whether it be cancer survivors, wartime survivors, abuse survivors, recovering addicts...you get the picture. The power of recognition and validation can be a game changer for people. That T-shirt or medal can be such a simple catalyst.

For me, the finishers medal represents what I can do. They are my new motivator. The odds of me of getting a placement medal/award at any race distance are pretty slim at this stage of my life, no matter how hard I train, no matter how much spinach I eat, it's just not going to happen. But for those who know me, they know that I have struggled deeply this past year and I needed something to believe in again. When everything was left in ruins all around me what better place than to start with myself and build a trust in myself again? What better way than to have a physical reminder of the things I have done?

The medals that I am collecting on this trip are strictly for me. They, along with the race bibs, will go on one of the walls of what I call my "world room". My world room is my den, the room of me, my travels, my experiences, my trinkets, my hobbies, my dreams, and my accomplishments. It is my cocoon of safety for me. It is not a prominent room for the guests to my home to see, so it's not a "show off" room. It's for me to ground myself, to remind me of who I am and how strong I can be if I just believe again.

I have given this subject a lot of thought. A fellow blogger, Andrea, had this to say about the subject and makes no apologies either. I have some lofty goals this year, one of is to complete a couple of 1/2 marathons. I think I can do it. But I would love to be able to visually track my progress. My running wall full of medals and bibs will keep me on track. My "dream big" wall. My "Never Give Up" wall.

And after the 1/2 marathon accomplishment? A triathlon. I have one on target and I am keeping my fingers cross that the dates fall into place for me.

I hope I never discourage any new runner by belittling the reasons why they chose to take up the sport and their motivators.

And for any runners who don't want their medals, please refrain from accepting one at the finish line or consider donating them to Medals4Mettle. Perhaps that simple donation can be your new motivator.

Frozen Shamrock Race Report

2011-03-01T06:09:00.003-05:00

On January 7, 2011, a week after I experienced the euphoria of running the 1st Run on New Years Day, I signed up for the Wild Rover Race Series. It entailed 3 races: a 3 miler in Haverhill, a 4 Miler in Lawrence and a 5 Miler here in Lowell, all between the weekends of Feb 27th thru March 13th. I debated for about a minute the possible weather conditions on those future dates, the fact that I have not raced anything longer than a 5K and the race fees. But the debate didn't last and before I knew it, I was signed up for 3 more races.

Sunday was the Frozen Shamrock, Part 1 of the series. The weather? Snowing. In fact, mother nature had just dropped 4-6 inches of fresh snow the night before and it was still snowing at noon on Sunday. The race organizers were awesome keeping all the registered racers up to date with frequent emails the night before and the morning of the race in case there were any last minute changes. But all was a go.

Early birds got the choice parking. Because I am neurotic about being late to anything, I got a great parking spot despite the snow. Being early also gave me the opportunity to go fetch my race package at St Joe's without having my running garb on. Since it was a brutal, slushy hike to the bib pick up, I was quite happy about being so early. Once I got back to my vehicle, I stayed toasty warm and got all the extra clothing layers off and put on the nice, dry and warm Mizunos!

Once ready, like everyone else, I headed to the Pub to stay warm. The bathroom line was crazy long, but for once, I didn't need to use it. Then the time came when a steady stream of runners exited the pub to the start line. The start line was not clearly marked unfortunately. Race organizers couldn't put the mat down because of the snow plows. So me, being an extreme novice at racing, didn't realize this and set my watch time at the first sign of the wave of runners moving... I assumed the mat would catch my net time. Oh well. Because I was towards the extreme back of the pack, I am estimating about 15-20 seconds needs to be taken off for my net time. It could be more. But I am not too worried about it.

The course was brand new to me. In fact, I had never been to Haverhill before, so me being me, I was soaking everything in. That goes for the HUGE muddy, slushy puddles in the first 1/4 mile. Once we got passed that, I settled into a groove.

I had read that the course had some challenging hills, and it was true. The first mile just seemed like one gradual hill. But much to my surprise, I handled it well even though I have done zilch for incline work on the treadmill. Not one pause, no burning shins. Once at the top of the hill, we ventured down a barely plowed side neighborhood street. It felt great to be forced to run on the snow pack. I had used the "snowy roads" excuse for not running outside all winter long. This proved to me that it is perfectly safe if you are careful. It felt so exhilarating that I started high-fiving the cops!

Of course, most times, when you go uphill, there is a downhill and as much as I knew I shouldn't fly down the downhill sections because of possible shin injury, I did it anyway. I really wanted to sprout wings!

This race CRUISED by for me. Like I said, I was soaking everything in. I wasn't watching the roads, my splits or the other racers. I was looking at the scenery, the architecture, the bridges crossing the Merrimack River. I was looking at it as a photographer and not as a runner! And before I knew it, it was over. My pace was steady, almost stroll like. And I had a blast.

At the finish line, an awesome finishers medal, space blankets, hot chili and soup waited for us. I think I was most pleased about my time (31:13) because the treadmill work all winter long has been hard at best. I still get it done, not a lot miles like a seasoned runner, but for me, the treadmill can be challenging. I can tell I am itching for spring to come.

The series finishers medal is pretty cool. It's huge, about 4" x 4". It has 4 magnets embedded in the main medal to connect the two smaller finishers medals from the next two races to make up one giant "charm". Yes, I love the BLING! ;-)

My best guess is that I had about a 10:17 pace. This is awesome to me because there was no effort really on my part. I am getting faster and the sub 10:00 mile is perfectly attainable if I keep from getting distracted. But in truth, I am not doing the running for the PRs (though it is nice when it does happen). I am doing the races because I know I can, to keep me healthy, to keep my life interesting, to experience the camaraderie and in this case, finding new photography material!

What's on your phone

2011-02-25T21:25:00.000-05:00

To start the weekend with a good laugh I figured I would share this with you.

This is a text message I got about 5 months ago from a very dear friend of mine. I still have it on my phone and always take a look at it if I am having a less than stellar day. Invariably, I laugh until at least one tear falls!

I removed the names to protect the innocent...

Enjoy

Another great music video

2011-02-22T20:20:00.003-05:00

I have a friend of mine over at Facebook that just knows how to pick 'em when it comes to great music.

Here's one that he recommended tonight and I have to agree, it is a great song (great beat, great video, great lyrics and a great voice).

I won't tell you how many times I have played it already... (and that I downloaded it thru iTunes!)

Enjoy

EDIT 2/23/11

I had to do some research about Adele. Turns out she's a 22 year old Brit who two years ago won two Grammy's. I am totally embarrassed that I have never heard of her! But I hear her loud and clear now! I downloaded her entire album, "21", this morning (just got released in the US yesterday) and it is an unbelievable album. I absolutely love her bluesy, pop, R&B, soulful and pissed off voice in this song. In fact, I played it for a friend of mine today and she said the same thing I was thinking "She's an old soul"

I love the video (yeah I bought that from iTunes too). Like Christi, I love the glasses of water beating with the drum, and I especially love the ~~ninja~~ warrior dancing and I can't tell you how the urge of throwing and breaking a pile of plates would be such a cathartic experience. Guess I should stay out of the fine china section of Macy's ;-)

Now a note from the sponsors of BYOW

2011-02-22T11:02:00.001-05:00

There are none....

I read something over the weekend in regards to affiliates and sponsors of blogs. There was a chirp out there that stated that one should be honest and disclose if they are receiving "kickbacks" from manufacturers for product reviews, opinions, etc.

It occurred to me that I have opinions of certain products that I use and I freely post those opinions in my blog. Mizunos, Trek, Nike, Trader Joe's, blah, blah, blah. But that's all it is: my opinions and what works for me. I don't receive a penny for any link you click on in my posts. Zilch.

What I do get is the wonderful satisfaction that somewhere out there, someone is reading my words, my opinions, my silly humor and they are free enough to share their opinions, their humor and words. Every reply is my payment. And that to me is absolutely priceless.

Something different

2011-02-21T22:46:00.003-05:00

This is not your typical post. But it is something I feel strongly about. And the last time I checked, this is my blog, so I can voice what I want.

I know many, many teachers. People I went to elementary, middle and high school with are teachers. I am still in touch with some of my teachers from 30+ years ago thru Facebook. And some friends of mine from my adult life are teachers. I know that they pour their hearts into their kids and their professions. And I am tired of all the teacher bashing.

This was a post on Boston.com today and it is broken down beautifully. I feel it was important to post this.

All the credit goes to "chb2678" over at Boston.com

Are you sick of highly paid teachers?

Teachers' hefty salaries are driving up taxes, and they only work 9 or10 months a year! It's time we put things in perspective and pay them for what they do - babysit!

We can get that for less than minimum wage.

That's right. Let's give them $3.00 an hour and only the hours they worked; not any of that silly planning time, or any time they spend before or after school. That would be $19.50 a day (7:45 to 3:00 PM with 45 min. off for lunch and plan-- that equals 6 1/2 hours).

Each parent should pay $19.50 a day for these teachers to baby-sit their children. Now how many students do they teach in a day...maybe 30? So that's $19.50 x 30 = $585.00 a day.

However, remember they only work 180 days a year!!! I am not going to pay them for any vacations.

LET'S SEE....

That's $585 X 180= $105,300 per year. (Hold on! My calculator needs new batteries).

What about those special education teachers and the ones with Master's degrees? Well, we could pay them minimum wage ($7.75), and just to be fair, round it off to $8.00 an hour. That would be $8 X 6 1/2 hours X 30 children X 180 days = $280,800 per year.

Wait a minute -- there's something wrong here! There sure is!

The average teacher's salary (nation wide) is $50,000. $50,000/180 days= $277.77/per day/30 students=$9.25/6.5 hours = $1.42 per hour per student--a very inexpensive baby-sitter and they even EDUCATE your kids!) WHAT A DEAL!!!!

Make a teacher smile; repost this to show appreciation for all educators.

ABCs of Me

2011-02-19T08:52:00.002-05:00

Kim, over at (Just) Trying is for Little Girls posted this fun, get to know me questionnaire (Kim got it from Shannon @ My Perfect Mess ) I figured I would follow suit. Pass it on!

(A) Age: 48

(B) Bed Size: Queen.

(C) Chore You Hate: Washing windows

(D) Dogs? None

(E) Essential Start Your Day Item: Coffee, the local news and my protein shake

(F) Favorite Color: Periwinkle

(G) Gold or Silver? Silver

(H) Height: 5 ft 6.5 in

(I) Instruments You Play: Drums thru 8^thgrade, then never again.

(J) Job Title: Senior Systems Analyst

(K) Kids: Just me ;-)

(L) Live: Massachusetts

(M) Mom's Name: Diana

(N) Nicknames: J-Lo, Jama, Jan

(O) Overnight Hospital Stays? None

(P) Pet Peeve: Sloppy targeting in bathrooms

(Q) Quote from a Movie: A heart can be broken, but it will keep beating just the same ~ Fried Green Tomatoes

(R) Right or Left Handed? Right

(S) Siblings: 2 Sisters, 1 Brother

(T) Time You Wake Up? 3x a week @ 3:15. All other days 5:30 - 6:00

(U) Underwear: Bikini and boy shorts

(V) Vegetable You Dislike: Rutabaga

(W) What Makes You Run Late: I don’t

(X) X-Rays You've Had Done: Ankle, finger

(Y) Yummy Food You Make: Chicken kelaguen

(Z) Zoo, Favorite Animal: Any animal in the cat family

Thanks to Kim and Shannon!

Water dreams

2011-02-19T08:05:00.001-05:00

Because of my work schedule, my sleep schedule is pretty messed up. 3 mornings a week I have to get up at 3:15. That means that I need to be in bed by 9:00 the night before. I manage to do that, but getting to sleep is another story. In reality, I usually get 5 hours of sleep on those nights.

The other days I normally sleep 6-7 hours. I am a natural night owl and a perpetual early bird. Yep, that makes it complicated at best!

So last night was a weird night all around. I fell asleep sitting upright in bed watching a movie... something I rarely do (falling asleep sitting up). So when the pain in my neck woke me up, I watched the rest of the movie and then I went to sleep. Okay, crazy but who said I was normal.

I had a vivid dream last night that this person, a total stranger, had a massive headache. So in my dream, I got up, filled up one of my colorful juice glasses with water, grabbed a couple of ibuprofens and gave them to the stranger.

Or so I thought.

This morning, in my kitchen, was my juice glass full of water and two ibu's sitting on the counter.

I promptly drank the water and downed the ibu's because I had a massive headache....

And In This Corner

2011-02-17T06:23:00.003-05:00

I have mentioned that I may be in the market for some new running shoes. To be honest, I am bummed about the Mizunos.

It is kind of like Trader Joe's. You finally find something you really like, get hooked, join facebook pages and fan clubs over the products, become a fanatic, rant on your blog and then bam! the product gets pulled. Well, that's how I feel about the Mizuno Wave Rider 14s. The 12s and 13s were terrific. But the 14s are causing major issues because of the not so subtle changes and it's taken a 100+ miles to figure out the problems.

Like I said in a reply to Meghan a couple of posts ago, I have high arches, narrow feet and I supinate. Supinators are a very small percentage of the population, so the choices of shoes are limited.

Over at "Run with Kate", Kate mentioned that the entire line up of the Brooks running shoes are Vegan. I thought this was totally cool. Now, I am not one that would ever be able to follow a Vegan lifestyle. But if I have a choice to do what I feel is the right thing for myself, I will make an effort to lean towards Vegan/all natural/vegetarian at any chance I can get.

Most manufacturers are leaning towards "vegan" nowadays. It may just be a marketing gimmick at this point. So I look at other things like child labor, carbon footprint, etc. ASICS and Nike have had severe problems in the past in these categories.

So this leads me back to Brooks. As a company, they are not totally innocent, but they are at least trying.

To make a long story short, Brooks has the Ghost 3... Vegan and in the colors I love. I see another fitting coming up this weekend and in the end, it will end up what feels the best for me. I am hoping the Brooks will rock!

By the way, if Trader Joe's ever gets rid of this

You WILL hear the scream heard around the whole world....

Shred This, Wear These, Run There

2011-02-16T19:07:00.002-05:00

So after making fun of myself in a blog posting a couple of weeks ago, I got this in the mail today.

NOTE TO THE UNIVERSE:

I WAS ONLY KIDDING!

Because that mailing crushed me, I figured some retail therapy may help. Here's what I have in mind:

Over on the Nike site, if you have an account (register, it's free), you can design your own shoe. So this is my design and it's saved in "myLocker". My friends nicknamed me J-Lo last year (long story) and it just has kind of stuck. That's what I would have stitched on the heels.

And last, but certainly not least, I booked my Clearwater/Tampa/St Pete vacation last night. Felt kind of weird because usually I am planning my vacations with others, whether it be family or friends. But for now, it's just me. And I am gonna do all the things I love: run a race, my photography, Sea World, beach time, visit the zoo and see a Cirque du Soleil show.

Clearwater or bust!

Did I mention beach time??? ;-)

<I~

Who Moved My Cheese and a dedication

2011-02-15T18:20:00.004-05:00

Alright. For those who has been following my blog for a little while, you know I have this habit of staring at a leaf on the wall in front of me when I am on the treadmill. If you don't, here's a link to my wackiness.

I just want to update you that someone moved the treadmill, so that little leaf no longer gets stared at. Now I am staring at it's bigger cousin that is to the left of it by a few inches. The change, however so slight, threw me off a bit.

What the heck does this have anything to do with anything? A lot, actually. Realizing this change, it got me to thinking that perhaps I shouldn't be so afraid to try and change myself. I have been running through shin pain (left one only) for about 6-8 weeks. I am pretty sure it's not a stress fracture. But I am beginning to think it may be caused by my shoes. I love my Mizuno's but I think the Wave Rider 14s are causing the issue. So this weekend, I may go out and try on some ASICS Nimbus 12 or Cumulus 12. I may also try my first ever running shoe I ever fell in love with, the Nike Air Pegasus. The 27s have practically the same color scheme as those first ones I bought in '88. Neon lime green swoosh...yeah baby! And if I like them enough, I can have a custom ones made with my nick name emblazoned on the heel. How cool is that? Yeah, it's the silly things for me.

It's really so difficult to figure out what is going on because of the walking I do to/from the train station in hefty Keen winter boots. They very well may be causing the problem, but I can't stop wearing them because of the lovely New England winter we are having and the need to have good foot protection.

I have been having a blast over on the Dailymile. What a great site and wonderful, wonderful people. I have to say, already I have made some friends that I know I will meet once the spring breaks. Truly motivational and supportive athletes.

This is a video, posted by Bill K from the Dailymile that really touched me. I would like to dedicate it to all those out there and the people that I have known in my past, that possess an incredible passion for running. You have always inspired me with your talent and dedication.

May your struggles all be won...

Birthday Bash

2011-02-13T15:41:00.001-05:00

So I met almost all of my siblings at my folks house in NH for a birthday dinner celebration for my sister. Her birthday is Valentines Day. It was nice to get the family together under better conditions since the last time we all saw each other was when my grandmother passed away last month.

My sister, being the sweetie she is, bought me a belated birthday cake. My birthday is New Years Eve and it always gets lost in the holiday shuffle and really, this year wasn't any different.

The birthday cake she gave me was a chocolate heart shaped cake with a thick coating of fudge icing and a huge chocolate dipped strawberry on top. Adorable, decadent and wicked tempting.

My sis is just 13 months younger than me. We have always seemed to get along well over the years, and we always manage to get our selves into crazy situations/trouble. Even to this day, when we are both in our late, late 40's.

Last night was no different. After she gave me the cake, I went shuffling all around showing it off to the family. My sister turned, bumped my shoulder and the cakebox, with me only supporting it with one hand underneath, did a nose dive to the floor.

Fortunately, the cover of the cakebox closed before it hit the ground. I was laughing hysterically (mainly because this isn't the first time I have dropped a chocolate birthday cake onto the floor...) I mean really, what can you do? The classic s#!t happens!

Well, here's what the beautiful cake looked like after it kissed the floor.

But I promise, it tasted just as good....

Saturday Ramblings

2011-02-12T13:15:00.003-05:00

This past week I decided to stir some things up. I am chalking it up to "It's the dead of winter and I need a frigging change" episode. Or an ADHD flair up, I suppose. Or something to drive me to utter distraction. Whatever.

I started with some basic weight resistance training. The gym @ work has got some beautiful gym equipment and I feel EXTREMELY lucky to have it at my disposal... free to use. So on Monday I brought it back into the training routine. Nothing heavy. Just targeting the major muscle groups (can anyone say "glutes")

I have always enjoyed weight training. I actually have more experience at weight training than I do at running (or anything else for that matter). The P90X program reintroduced the free weight training back into my life last summer and I swear, it's one of the fastest ways to see change. After putting some heavy walking miles on the treadmill during work lunch breaks and just staring at the weight machines, I have decided to relax on the treadmills and start with the machines.

Couple of things happened. I dropped 1 pound this week without trying and my piriformis isn't as painful. Hmmmm... raise your hand if you think I was overtraining! It may also be "muscle confusion" as Tony Horton likes to call it. I also threw in some cycling on the upright bike at the gym. I really like this bike a lot (SportsArt C570U). It feels GREAT to spin!!!

Enough on the shake up at work.

For the shake up at home. I have started adding spinach to my super magical morning smoothies. I really can't tell the difference in taste. If I pay attention, I get the slight hint of spinach taste, but since I love spinach, it doesn't bother me. And it doesn't make the smoothie turn a weird color. It's still predominately light purple from the blueberries and strawberries so it doesn't look like I am drinking something totally gross and unmentionable.

I watched "Food Matters" last night on NetFlix.

Very interesting stuff. But it just backed up my belief system that I have had about the pharmaceuticals and the general medical system. I am not gonna get all up on a soapbox or anything (though I could since "it's my blog and I will bitch if I want to"). My general rule for me is this: if I can abstain from using prescribed drugs then that is my preference. If I can find something natural or I can fix it myself, then I will go that route first. Case and point: I was plagued with terrible sinus infections in all of 2009 and into 2010. I went got antibiotics twice and I hated doing that. So when it wasn't clearing it up properly, I quit smoking, started eating right and exercising. Voila. No more sinus infections. Imagine that....

I am so close to booking my Florida vacation. Got my taxes done last night and I will be getting my loan to Uncle Sam back in about a week. I am getting enough back for 1 or 2 other vacations if I plan now instead of later. Rock n Roll 1/2 marathon in Vegas baby!

I am off to Cow Hampshire to celebrate my 'lil sister's birthday. Have a great weekend, ya'll

The battle between the Leaf and the Speed Dial Part II

2011-02-10T19:04:00.005-05:00

Hee hee... I should be committed. Anyone that gets and stays on a treadmill for 90 minutes and ENJOYS it really needs to have their head examined.

Well, that's what this chick did tonight. I could have kept going. But I finally got really, really bored. Didn't play with the speed dial that much. But I stared at the leaf a lot. It got the attention it needed. I guess I felt bad that the Leaf lost earlier this week

I wasn't really processing anything. I was more in the moment tonight. I was actually interested with what's left of who I call the "resolutioners". They are the folks that have made that commitment to the gym as a New Years resolution. You can tell their heart isn't quite into it, but they are searching for that spark. And as I was sitting (running) on the sidelines, I wanted to say to them, "Hang in there, this should be the week that you see and feel the difference. Usually takes 4-6 weeks." So in my head, I was cheering these folks on. I think 2 out the 6 have a real good shot.

Anyway, I did 8.2 miles on the treddy. I had downloaded new trance/techno/hip-hop music earlier today and I was testing out my new playlist. I need to switch some songs around but overall, I got another fine list together.

So this week has been a good week. Finally did a sub-30 5k and did my longest distance and longest duration.

It's all really good....

~0
<I~
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The battle between the Leaf and the Speed Dial

2011-02-08T17:48:00.000-05:00

My intention was there to do a longish run. You know, like over an hour's worth of running. I set the time on the treadmill to 90 minutes.

Settled in at a slow pace. I needed to conserve some energy for maybe 8 miles or more. Stared at the Leaf. Tried to find some topics to think about. Nothing. Or nothing that I wanted to think about for the time being. I just wanted to beat my time. I wanted to do my best, I wanted some speed and sweat. Yep, I needed to sweat some anger and frustration out. Just what I know the doctor would order.

My chest had been feeling heavy. I wondered if that was a result of doing the 5k Sunday in the cold temps. My body kind of ached in weird places because I added resistance training yesterday to my nutty line up. The nurturing side of me said take it easy. The fighter in me KO'd that thought.

I didn't like the 11:00 min mile. At all. Before I knew it, I was calculating how I could make up that very slow 5 minute start.

The leaf, the point of all my running attention, the point of my mediative state, lost to the treadmill control panel. The speed dial won. And I finally did my sub 30 5k. Not by much, but I did it just the same. And it felt great. Troubles and worries were just mere dust.

Eeked it out to 4 miles and I was happy. Getting faster. Mentally toughening up. You can teach an old dog new tricks after all!

Super 5k Race Report

2011-02-06T18:32:00.002-05:00

So today was my second 5k of the year (on the same course). Weather wise, the first 5k I did on Jan 1st, 2011 was much, much better. Today we had a wind of 12mph with gusts to 36mph and a temp of 39 degrees. Things were a bit nippy, but for once, it was sunny out. It helps to wear black!

Anyway, this is a relatively flat, fast course. At the 3/4 mile mark you do hit a hill that can take you by surprise. I actually had some older woman pull at my left shoulder to get on by me. I was actually quite taken aback at her absolute rudeness. Some people are just born with it I suppose. I still couldn't figure out what her problem was considering I was hugging the 3.5 foot high snowbank. I would hate to see what she was like behind the wheel of a car.

At the 1.5 mile mark is when the headwind smacks you in the face. The upside? The bright sun is in your face too, so your cheeks can stay relatively warm. It was nice to see and feel the sun again.

Finish line in sight...I looked pained!

Unfortunately, the second half of the course is on one of the busier thoroughfares in Lowell. They had "coned" a path for us, but there were so many ridiculously deep puddles that everyone had to step out of the coned area into the road way. I wish people would be a little more conscientious about walking two abreast on such a narrow path. Everyone tends to bunch up behind the walkers because it's too dangerous to step outside the path with cars going 45 mph just within a few feet of you. Came real close to having a nasty spill because of this.

Just after the 2 mile mark, there is a wide open field and let me tell you the cold winds coming off that field were kicking everyone's ass. I sped up just to plow through it and get it over with as soon as possible! Today I learned not to be downwind of a noseblower. In strong winds, those boogers go flying and I know a few projectiles from the dude in front of me came way too close for my comfort. It was totally gross. I chicked him.

At the 2.75 mile I caught up with a guy running with his dog, a cocker spaniel. The owner had the leash in one hand and a clearish doggie doo-doo bag -- full of the dog's business -- in the other hand. Again gross. Why is it when you tell yourself not to look, you look anyway and get totally grossed out? It was enough motivation for me to find and turn on the after burners to get to the finish line.

This was my fourth race on this course and I had my fastest time yet. Pretty proud of myself considering the elements we all had to deal with. My race time is certainly not worthy of posting, but my pride is! The treadmill work is paying off.

No bling for the Bling Challenge, but I did get a cute t-shirt. Oh and 2 chocolate cookies, something I haven't had in about 6 months!

Next up? A 3 miler in 3 weeks. I have heard that this one has BRUTAL hills. Time to start playing with the incline on the 'mill.

As for a bit of motivation, the oldest person to place was 86 years old. God bless him!

~0
<I~
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Turning a chores day into fun

2011-02-05T19:59:00.000-05:00

Today turned out to be a chores day instead of a play day. Grocery shopping, laundry, vacuuming, freezing some of the fresh food to have it last longer, that sort of thing. It started raining here (go figure) so being outside in the cold, wet environment lost it's Winterfest appeal for me.

I did do something fun though. In my closet I have stacks of old jeans. I have been keeping these jeans all year "just in case". Yeah, just in case I put the weight back on. But I have been at this size 6 now for 7 or 8 months and I really don't see me going back to the size 14 I once wore. If I do, just shoot me.

So tonight I took a picture. Just last year at this time, the big jeans were my "go to" jeans and at size 14, they were too small! The jeans I laid over the top? Size 6 and they are too big! I literally can slip them right off with them zipped/buttoned up. Yeah, I have come a long way, baby!

As for the too big jeans, I think it is time for a Salvation Army donation. I have at least 10 - 15 pairs that are just too big for me. It will free up some much needed closet space, help someone else in need and reinforce the confident feeling I have about getting rid of the "just in case" pile.

Sometimes doing chores can be fun and inspiring!

Winter canceled due to too much snow

2011-02-05T09:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, I am frustrated.

We have had a lot of snow. We have had a lot of snow in the past. But it always seemed to melt a bunch between storms. That isn't happening this year. So my guess, here in the Merrimack Valley we have at least a 30" base. That's a lot of snow to contend with on a daily basis. Tonight's gift from Mother Nature? An ice storm.

One of the things I was looking forward to in keeping my spirits up over this winter was the Lowell Winterfest. But much to my disappointment (and a lot of other people living here in the city), I found out that the human dogsled competition was cancelled due to too much snow. Yep, DPW didn't have enough time to prep the strip of roadway used downtown for the races, so that portion of the Winterfest, the biggest attraction, was canceled. For me, that's equivalent of taking the folk music out of the Lowell Folk Festival in the summer.

Photo courtesy of the City of Lowell

With some dear friends of mine, I did attend the North Soup Bowl competition last night (totally delish, by the way), cooked some marshmallows over the open pit fires and watched some fire dancing. And as near as I could tell, that was all there was to the Winterfest, unless we sauntered into the over 21 tent, which we didn't have a lot of interest in doing. Eventually, all of our toes were little ice cubes and we called it a night fairly early.

Todays line up looks promising and I may wander around downtown this afternoon. The "All You Can Eat Chocolate" event looks enticing and the fireworks tonight will be something I will be sure to see.

Tomorrow, I have a 5k race on the other side of the city. I have been itching all month long to get out on the roads safely and an organized race allows me to do that. But with the impending ice storm tonight, I am not sure the roads will be safe enough to run on and I will be left with a decision to risk it or not.

I am really done with this winter.

It's about the balance, silly

2011-02-03T10:01:00.005-05:00

The internet is an incredible tool. Believe it or not, the internet has been a part of my life since 1992 (yeah, I am an oldie, but goodie). I have been a big proponent of the internet and all the good that it can do.

But even though all my experiences with get rich scams, marketing BS, political lies, urban legends, viral videos, etc, has seasoned me to see through the garbage pretty quickly, I can still get frustrated picking apart through the lies and the truths.

Part of this year long transition of my life was to take better care of myself. That entailed 3 or 4 endeavors that I committed to: exercise, eating right, quitting smoking. Doing those three things would surely help the fourth endeavor which was good emotional health (something that does get overlooked in my opinion).

As for exercise, due to my past, I felt I knew what I liked and what worked for me, so I picked up where I left off years before. I did add the P90X program, which in my opinion, was outstanding and the one program I can say made that the most change in my life. I would still be doing it if my time free time was more plentiful.

Quitting smoking was a no brainer. For the oddest reason, this time was the easiest. I practically quit cold turkey. And I really don't miss it. Every once in a while I will get a whiff of tobacco smoke and to me, it still smells good. But now the memory of smoking takes me back to undesirable days. When that happens, I nearly immediately say to myself "My life is so much better now"...because it's true. The desire for nicotine evaporates nearly instantly.

Eating right has always been a challenge for me though. That's where the internet comes into play. For the last 9 or 10 months, I have been pretty much on a "cleaner eating" program. I have cut out all red meats and in the last 4-5 months, have cut out all meat (fish and poultry). I have cut out diary where I felt comfortable that I could. And I probably have no less than 7 - 8 servings of fruits and vegetables a day. I have been relying on the internet about proper nutrition and possibly moving to a vegetarian diet. But the opinions, "research studies" and self promotion out there in cyberland drives me nuts. Just when I thought I was doing the right thing, I read that I am not and death will surely ensue immediately if I don't change my ways.

For instance, this morning I was doing some research on Whey Protein. I read on some site that it was so bad for you. Geez, I thought I was doing the right thing every morning when I added that scoop to my smoothie. Okay, google to find out why it's bad. I came across a site that said that Whey Protein was basically a carcinogen. Lovely. May as well give me back my cigs (no, not really).

I read through the comments on the blog that made this statement and some people did question that particular statement too. And even though the blogger answered every other commenters question, they failed to answer on the carcinogen question. This leads me to believe that the blogger was an extremist, a liar or is being paid by some company to promote a product. Frustrating.

So I decided this morning to continue what I have been doing. If I find something better, thru the blogs I trust (Kate and Lauren come to mind), then I will give it a try. Each one of us is different and I need to figure out what's best for me. My needs are totally different from the work at home mom, totally different from the 20 year old in their sophomore year of college and totally different from the jet setting professional (I fit in the category of the 40-something year old woman waiting for her AARP membership in the mail -- LOL!)

I then need to remind myself where I was a year ago at this time. 35 pounds heavier, 3/4 a pack a day smoker, chronic sinus infection sufferer and absolutely miserable about myself emotionally. Today I am so much more powerful. My world is so much more different and in many, many ways oodles better.

It's all about MY balance.

What have you done to find your balance? Who or what do you rely on to steer away from misinformation?

Lil' Things

2011-02-02T20:23:00.002-05:00

Big sigh. Another snowstorm. Getting bored with it. Appreciate the extra cardio work out I am getting shoveling snow. I like it so much, I helped shovel out my neighbor. It lets me eat an extra big dinner without the guilt!

Yeah, the US of A is under there somewhere

Yeah, that's my lame way to accept that I cannot do a thing about this PITA weather. It's supposed to snow again on Saturday. And then 37 degrees on Sunday, which is good since I have a 5k to do that day. Great for slushy running conditions, but I am outside running nonetheless!

But what has happened is that I have gotten to know my neighbors better. And I met the sweetest guy who now is gonna be my hairdresser. Yay! If he messes up my hair I can say "Fix it, 'cuz I know where you live!" Actually, he strikes me as being really good. My hair needs attention, so I will be finding out soon!

Not seen today? A single snow plow in our apartment complex parking lot. Even the snow plow operators have given up. I shoveled out a couple of stuck cars. Why do people think gunning the car will get you out of a snow bank? Especially if you have bald tires?

Most unusual sight seen today? Someone actually threw their once live X-Mas tree in the garbage. It's February 2nd people!

I did some "what I would like to buy next payday" shopping online this evening.

I like this shirt. It can be found at Punk Rock Racing

I like this one too. Here's the link

I LOVE this!!!

It was one of those kind of days. I did get on the treadmill for an hour walk. I was able to read the latest Runner's World on my iPad while on the 'mill which made the time pass quickly.

What are the chances I will be in FL first before all this snow melts? Sadly, I think pretty high.

A guy, a hotel room and a video spells relief for me!

2011-02-01T20:07:00.000-05:00

Ha, got your attention!

But really, it's true. Finally found some relief from the piriformis syndrome that I have been suffering from since December (maybe earlier). Don't ask me why, but the guy shot this video demonstrating some specific stretches to be done for piriformis in a hotel room. But I don't care! I am happy to report that the stretches work! Did them last night and this morning and I had no pain whatsoever all day (usually I can only sit for about 30 minutes before horrible butt pain).

So my embarrassing split that I did Saturday night on the ice has had a happy outcome.

On the treadmill tonight I ran a 3.1 miler with a 9:50 pace so I am stoked about that (with the last mile at a 8:30 pace). The time is a fallin'!

Here is the video

~0
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From geek to athlete in an instant... just add ice

2011-01-31T20:26:00.000-05:00

On Saturday night, while exiting my apartment complex gym, I slipped on some black ice. Now, it could of been much, much worse. I could have slipped down the stairs. But instead I slipped down the ramp. Not ideal, but considering the alternative, I will take the ramp.

I caught myself, if you will, on the wrought iron railing. Left knee first and then my right leg got stretched in the most awkward and unnatural state. It was not graceful. And yes, people saw me. Did I say it wasn't graceful? Yeah, it was rather embarrassing. Then I heard a second thud against the wrought iron railing which was my purse.

Under normal circumstances, I would have freaked out about the second thud. That second thud would be my iPad in my purse being slapped around.

But a funny thing happened. The first thing that crossed my mind after the split: damn! I broke my ass even further (I am suffering from piriformis). The second thought was, ouch, that hurt my left knee. My final thought was the iPad. I have made the transition from geek to athlete! With all the high drama to boot! Granted, this wasn't how I envisioned this transition to occur, but it occurred, nonetheless! I cared more about my next run than the $800 piece of geek heaven in my purse.

The bruise on my knee isn't bad. I have had worse. But my right leg is in some severe pain. I did get on the treadmill yesterday for a quick 3 miler. I wasn't slow, I wasn't fast. And it did hurt for the first mile, but I got thru it.

Today I am finding all new stretches for the piriformis and I am looking forward to trying them out. The foam roller took care of the syndrome on my left side a week ago. But the right glute is really being stubborn. I am just hoping I can get past this.

The silver lining in all this? I realized that the iPad is replaceable. Me and my body parts are not!

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PS The iPad survived... ;-)

"The Leaf"

2011-01-30T12:41:00.003-05:00

Meghan, a regular commenter on my blog, kindly pointed out to me that I haven't posted a pic of my "Leaf" after I said I would. Thank you for keeping me honest Meghan! :-) The Leaf is the object of all my attention while I am on the treadmill. So here it is. Not exciting at all!

It's amazing what the mind can do to tune out. Usually, when I am focused on The Leaf, I have a wide range of topics running through my head. It's like a microfilm machine. My mind scrolls through hundreds of things and in a flash, just one topic will catch my mind's eye and make me back up. Once I do, I can get lost for 5-7 minutes, if not longer.

Some of the time, it happens on a blog topic that I may want to post. I figure out how I feel about something, let it swish around for a while and then compose a whole post in my head. Unfortunately, I haven't got a mind recording machine so by the time it is time to post on the subject, most of it is lost. But the main idea is always presented in my blog.

One great example of this was when I decided to rename the blog this week. That whole idea came about while I was staring at the 1 dimensional Leaf on the wall. The "Just be your own" was the one thing I did remember when I stepped off the treadmill and blogged it. To me, it was the most important thing I wanted to convey and there was no way I was going to forget that principle!

I decided I had to give everyone an idea of where this Leaf is from the perspective of my view on the treadmill by the picture posted on the right. Dead center in the photo. Pretty crazy, huh? Like I have said, the gym is small, but it's free and you will never hear me complain about it.

The one thing I do know, if I didn't have my music, I don't think I could use the treadmill. My music is so incredibly important to me. I have read that it provides a distraction and I suppose that's true. For me though, it is like elevator music. I know it's there, it's soothing, but my main focus is on the thoughts of what I am processing whether it be work, my blog, my personal life, stuff I am emotionally working on, my running form, etc. And let me tell you, many of my "a-ha moments" have occurred on this treadmill!

So for all you dedicated treadmill runners, what do you do? Where is your focus? Music or no music? And what changes occur, if any, once you head back outside?

Addictions

2011-01-29T16:33:00.001-05:00

Kate, over at runwithkate, posted on an interesting and sensitive subject about the fine line between discipline and addiction when it comes to exercise.

I have often done a "check in" with my motivations and intentions in the past when it came to exercise (and monitoring caloric intake). I would say that I was more scared into exercising in the past than I am now. Let me explain why.

Right after high school, I joined the military. For anyone who cares, that was 30 years ago. And for the next 25 years of my life I was constantly aware of how much I ate and worried about every little calorie I put into my mouth. To stay in the military, to advance and to succeed, there were strict guidelines for physical fitness and performance. Every 6 to 12 months you had to participate in the PRT or Physical Readiness Test. It entailed being tested in a timed 1.5 mile run, sit-ups and pushups. That part I never had a problem with because I did take working out seriously. I was borderline addicted. But the eating part-- I was obsessed with the caloric intake. Only because I had an incredible fear of being kicked out for being "overfat". For women the testing was a semi annual event and it scared the majority of us. It was a dark cloud that hung over our heads all year long. I watched a few of my friends get discharged from the military because they couldn't meet physical fitness requirements.

When the change of attitude of physical readiness with the military took place in the early 80s, the military failed to give us the knowledge needed for good nutritional intake and how to exercise safely and properly. By the early 90s that had changed. In fact, I became an ACE Certified Fitness Specialist in 1991. But the mindset, the paranoia and bad eating habits were instilled in both women and men alike and it took some time to undo that damage.

My borderline addiction to exercise helped me deal with the absolute fear of being "overfat". It was a horrible cycle for nearly half of my life. And one that, to this day, I really haven't totally let go. I am aware of its presence lurking deep inside of me.

But on that note, today is Saturday. A day where I usually loaf around. Sleep. Hot baths. Saunas. Hang out with family or friends. Go out to dinner and/or movies, that sort of thing. I have no plans for any treadmill time. In fact, tonight, I am gonna make my way over to Life Alive for a good wholesome Vegan dinner and come home to some sauna time and then some Netflix movies. No guilt. Just a day of nourishment and healing for my body and mind.

There's always tomorrow for the new PR on the treadmill ;-)

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Daily Mile

2011-01-28T20:01:00.005-05:00

About 4 weeks ago I signed up for a free account at DailyMile.com It is sort of a social networking site for crazy fitness buffs like myself. And I love it.

Last year, I learned the best way to be accountable to myself was to record what I was doing/eating. I have an account with fatsecret.com and it helped me keep track of what I was eating and what I was lacking nutritionally. I haven't been using fatsecret over the last 4 months because the 3 or 4 months of recording and being mindful of what I ate disciplined me. I know my intake and I know when I need to tweak a few things. I can back this statement up by stepping on the scale. I haven't lost or gained a single pound since July of last year.

But what has happened now that I am back to serious exercising is that I have lost about 4-5% body fat since last summer. This is evident because my scale has the body fat percentage measurement capabilities. I am thrilled because that is my goal. I am not so much worried about weight as I am about taking the "flubby chub" off.

So getting back to the DailyMile site. I think it is great to meet like minded people, even if they are virtual. Their words of encouragement are genuine. I can't go mope to my co-workers or my family about missing a workout, seek advice about my shin splints or what to do about blackened toe nails. But I can on the DM! We get each other, and I like that. A lot!

The other great thing about DM is keeping track of your workouts. I have had a good month and I am particularly pleased with my running mileage this month. 56 miles running/67 miles walking so far. The walking mileage is a little skewed because I am counting the 2.5 miles I HAVE to do in my daily commute to work. So if I take that away, the actual purposeful walking on the treadmill is about 37 miles.

If you don't have a DM account, go get one. It's free and it's fun. And give a shout out to me. I will be happy to friend you!

A shout out to Meghan

2011-01-27T20:16:00.001-05:00

Meghan, a follower here at BYOW and a member of the DailyMile networking site posted this addicting song/video on todays #dailymission.

I had heard the song in a commercial for Kia cars, but I didn't know who the artist was. And now thanks to Meghan, mystery has been solved and my iTunes library has one more great song!

Meghan, keep rockin'!!!!

It's never easy

2011-01-27T11:29:00.000-05:00

I few nights ago I found out that my sister-in-law (to be) and my brother had to put their dog down due to a tragic accident. The accident happened on the same day that I posted here on my blog, a pic of Beanie, the dog, being "one of my favorite things".

My brother, P, and LM are really hurting right now and my heart goes out to them. I hope they will consider a new pup soon. Here are a few of my favorite pics of Beanie

My brother and a restful Beanie

I hope someone drops a scrap!

My love/hate relationship

2011-01-25T18:47:00.000-05:00

I think we all can relate somehow. That love/hate relationship in our lives. For instance, I could be talking about chocolate, winter, school, work, running, water, in-laws, computers. I will let you fill in your "blank".

Mine is consistently the first mile of my running workout. That dreaded first mile. The first mile that reminds me that may age is preventing me from healing as quickly as I used to. The first mile that my mind is questioning why the hell I am subjecting myself to this kind of abuse when I could be sitting on my couch, eating chips and watching Oprah. The first mile where I am asking myself why I stopped running for 8 years and now I am starting all over. The first mile where my mind argues with my body as to how many miles I will do. That's the Hate part.

The Love part of my first mile? The first mile of deep healing breaths of fresh air, filling my non-smoking lungs. The first mile where I feel the surge of blood circulating through me and easing the slight aches that come with age. The first mile that initiates my zone out process. The first mile in where my body starts gifting my mind in "me time". The first mile that produces the ever so slight mist on my skin. That's the Love part.

I read so many blogs where people mention the "dreadmill". In my first mile, that's what I am thinking too. But looking outside, where at least 18-24 inches of snow blankets the frozen tundra, I am happy to have my treadmill. I am happy that the chances of me twisting an ankle or slipping and breaking a _________ (fill in the blank) are greatly reduced. I am thankful that I don't need to worry if the driver behind me is going to "give me a lesson" on who owns the road in the dead of winter. I am thankful that I have quality treadmill available for free at the apartment complex that I live in (and I am thankful that it works!)

Yes, there are some disadvantages to the treadmill. The feeling of being on a hamster wheel comes to mind. But overall, in 54 days, spring will officially be here, and in that 54 days I will have put a lot of miles on that treadmill, just so I can enjoy those first days of running outside again.

I just finished up a great 5 mile run on the treadmill tonight... and I am bathing in the love part of the relationship...

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RIP

2011-01-24T04:23:00.001-05:00

Jack LaLanne. 96 years old! Whew!

Even back then, people were preaching the same thing as today. Sooner or later, for those who will listen and adjust their lives appropriately, they will be the ones that will reap the benefits of healthy living. I am glad I finally listened...

Weekend wrap up

2011-01-23T20:05:00.001-05:00

Overall, a two thumbs up kind of weekend. Physically, mentally and socially.

Had my two fastest pace runs this weekend. I feel really good about getting under the 10:00 minute per mile mark. Considering I just started running regularly for the first time in 8 or 9 years, I have shaved off about 90 seconds per mile since the Turkey Trot in November. Steady as she goes. Slowly increase speed, slowly increase distance. And if I really want to get all proud of myself, in Nov 2009, the best I could do was 12:24 pace. And nearly puked. So yes, all the hard work, my determination and my getting better with age attitude is working. It's all good.

Numerology: Friday's reading on the treadmill when I finished up: 40:40 time, 4 miles, 444 calories burned.

Gym "I am slamming the weights down because I need attention" rat was in my presence for my run tonight. Tuned him totally out. The leaf on the wallpaper got all my attention!

Two hours total in the sauna this weekend. Muscles feel like jello.

Went grocery shopping last night before the movies. With the freezing temperatures, I could leave all the food in the vehicle without worrying about it melting. Shhhh, don't tell anyone, but it also gave me an opportunity to fill my purse with healthy goodies before going into the theatre!

There is something virtuous at looking at a fridge full of food that is really good for you.

Socially, I made a ton of new DailyMile, Twitter and Facebook friends and landed a few new blog followers this weekend. Thanks everyone. I know I enjoy all your PRs on DM, the tweets on Twitter, the likes on Facebook and the comments on my blog. I only hope I can do the same for you.

By the way, I went and saw the "The King's Speech" last night. A beautiful story on trust, friendship, believing in what others can become and overcoming obstacles. Colin Firth and Geoffrey Rush were fantastic. Highly recommend it.

One last thing: do you feel guilty/bad for testing one grape before buying a pound of them? Do you worry that the grocery police are gonna come after you if you do?

;-)

Lil' bits

2011-01-21T12:39:00.002-05:00

So I was playing with the iPhone this morning. Took some pictures of my favorite things and looked at some photos that I forgot I took of my other favorites things. Here they are:

On the left are the ingredients of my super delish smoothie. This has been my breakfast for the last 9 months. Yes, 9 months. I never tire of it. In fact, I am still fine tuning it. Right now it consists of 1 cup of almond milk, 1/4 of cold water, 1 scoop of the whey protein, 1/4 cup of strawberries, 1/4 cup of blueberries, 1/2 frozen banana, 2 dates and a spoonful of flax seed. The secret is to stir first in the blender for about 1.5 minutes then puree it for about another 1.5 - 2 minutes. It comes out like a real milkshake (frappe for us New Englanders) and it seems to maintain its frothiness for a longer period of time. I use the original flavored almond milk and the Vanilla flavored Body Fortress Whey Protein. Of note: the Body Fortress whey protein is a good deal: $16.00 for 2 pounds. When all is said and done: about 300-350 calories for a fluffy 32 ounce serving.

Me enjoying my breakfast right after a good walking workout on the treadmill this morning. Still got the headphones on!

I don't know how I lived without my Rejuvenation foam roller! Yeah, I do... I was in constant pain! I can't believe how much of a difference it made and how immediate. If you don't have one, get one. Best $20 I have spent lately.

I love my Mizunos. I have a pair at work stashed under my desk and two pairs at home. I started experimenting with lacing techniques to stop the foot numbness that I experience and that seems to have worked on my "walking" pair, the blue ones (Wave Rider 13). I use the pink ones (Wave Rider 14) for running. I am debating on whether or not I will pick up a second pair of 14s in the spring since they are darker (gunmetal and purple). They won't show the grime of the spring thaw so much once I head outside and pound asphalt instead of the treadmill.

This my sister in laws baby, Beanie. Yeah, I am talking about the one on the right. This dog is spoiled, with a capital S, but then again, she's pretty old. But despite her age, she is so much fun to be around... kind of like me!

I started running out of room in my dresser drawers for all my running and biking clothes, so I went on the hunt for some tasteful storage for just my athletic wear. Found this Closetmaid stackable cube at Tar-jay and the earth tone fabric drawers are right up my alley. Of course, I had to complete the ensemble with a Vizio 22" TV and an Apple TV to watch my NetFlix movies in bed. Oh the luxury!

No additional words needed

2011-01-20T20:51:00.004-05:00

Tidbits and long runs

2011-01-19T22:59:00.005-05:00

Or I could rephrase my post title to "I got caught up in my ADHD and before I knew it, I was over 7 miles on the treadmill". Not necessarily a bad thing!

Yep, the mind was all over the map tonight on the treadmill. Mostly thinking about what goals I have for running, my grandma, my family and my friends.

I ran into a dear work friend of mine today. I mentioned her way back in a blog post last summer. I knew Ruth was a runner and she has always been inspirational to me for her stories on the races she has done, from 10Ks to marathons. She has tried to get me involved and has invited me along in the past, but life always seemed to get in the way. Well, we were talking today and I invited her to come to FL with me to do the Iron Girl. I know that if I had seen her a couple of weeks ago, she would have talked me into doing the 1/2 marathon instead of the 5K. But no matter. I can do the 5K and she can easily do the 1/2. We'll see. I think it would be a blast.

Is a 1/2 in the future for me

Then she said that she might do the Rock 'n' Roll Las Vegas Marathon in December and that I should consider it. The full marathon is not on my radar, but the 1/2 could be. Actually doing any of the Rock 'n' Roll 1/2s could be a blast and fit nicely into that traveling around the US idea I had a few posts ago.

So all of this is rolling around in my head while I was just trodding along on the 'mill. Before I knew it, I missed the 5K marker, then the 5 mile marker, and then the 10K. I laughed when I saw the treadmill reading 6.5 miles and I decided to round it off to 7 miles tonight.

If I can figure out how to zone out like that on command, to find that cruise control rhythm, a half marathon could be pretty easy I think. Oh, and I would patent and market it. I would say I had enough gas in the tank for another mile or so tonight. But once I saw mile 7, my mind couldn't get back to that happy zone spot. Mainly because 7 miles is the best distance I have done yet and I got all excited! Granted, I wasn't fast, just at about 10:50 pace, but what the heck?!

There were lots of other topics that I processed tonight. It was a good run for the mind, body and soul.

I was thinking....

2011-01-17T10:00:00.000-05:00

I was thinking about how I signed up for that race in FL in April. Believe it or not, the R/T flight from Boston, 6 nights in FL and a rental car is about $600. I think it is quite reasonable (considering I spent $144 in race registration fees in the last week, I think it's a bargain). I am looking at another one in VA in May, though I haven't signed up for it yet.

But this could be fun. Little weekend getaways, perhaps all over the US, to keep me motivated. Everyone is talking about staying local and doing "stay-cations". Mine will be race vacations or "rac-ations". Visit somewhere new, get a race in, scope out some photographic opportunities and come back with a smile, photos and stories!

I am liking the idea. My grandmother would have told me to go for it. What do ya think?

Running Form

2011-01-16T18:56:00.002-05:00

Earlier this week, I decided to start paying attention to my running form. I supinate severely and I know that the outside of my heals, on any type of shoe, are the first to wear down.

So I focused on forefoot running instead of heel strike. But this is when I noticed something. I am actually running more forefoot than heel strike! My running form is not bad at all and it occurred to me that I am walking heel strike.

I do a lot of walking. Upwards of 20+ miles a week. When I checked my walking shoes vice my running shoes, my running shoes did not have the classic heel wear down points of a heel strike runner. The shoe was worn at the fore foot. But my walking shoes? Let's just say they are pretty bad.

Which leads me to believe that the shoes I have been wearing for walking is causing the shin splint problems. I am going to try and pay more attention to my walking to see if I can reduce the heel strike. The severe heel strike style of walking is a bad habit I picked up about 30 years ago and it will be a challenge to snuff. But it's either that or put up with the shin splints. I am opting for quitting the bad habit!

One other thing: I was at my brothers house last night and I decided to give his new treadmill a whirl in bare feet. Let's just say that I will never be a barefoot or Vibram shoe runner. Way too painful!

The cycle of life

2011-01-16T10:10:00.007-05:00

My grandma, sneaking sweets at 96 years old!

Two mornings ago, my grandmother, Olive, passed away peacefully in her sleep. I knew she hadn't been doing well. But my goodness, the woman was 98 years old, only 2 months away from her 99th, and she was tired.

For a woman her age, she was remarkably healthy. She lived by herself up until last year. I loved her free spirit and her stories of adventure. Some of my fondest childhood memories were from visiting her and my step grandfather in FL.

So in honor of her free spirit and adventurous soul, I signed up for the Iron Girl 5K in Clearwater, FL in April. There are numerous personal reasons why I have chosen the date and location, and the most glaring reasons will help my heart heal a bit. As I spend perhaps a week in FL, I will venture out and discover some places I haven't been, run my first race in FL and retrace some footsteps that need to be walked.

There are 2 other 5k's, a 4 miler and a 5 miler that I have signed up for, all local to MA and all coming up before mid-March. But the 5K in FL will have the biggest impact and the most freeing of emotions. Something I truly need and welcome.

Thank you, grandma, for teaching me to be a free and an adventurous spirit.

Morning after notes

2011-01-12T11:46:00.001-05:00

A few things:

I am not sore. At all. I have found a trick of taking some ibuprofen just before I head to bed. And I never wake up in pain. I do think I am on my way of having some issues with my toenails, but if that's the price to be paid, so be it. Nothing that hot pink nail polish won't cure!

As I was watching the Hood to Coast movie last night, I was having flashbacks of a 24 hour marathon run I did at Fort Devens in the early '90s. What a blast it was! If I remember correctly, we had 4 or 6 team members and we had to relay run for a constant 24 hours. Wow, what craziness at 3 o'clock in the morning! Your body and mind is just whacked.

Last but not least, we got walloped with a snow storm last night. I jumped out of bed to look out my window and it was crazy deep (really, if I was sore, there is no way I could have jumped out of bed like that). So I wandered in the snow for an hour this morning taking photos. This one is one of my favorites

Along the canal

We interrupt this broadcast...

2011-01-11T23:25:00.004-05:00

...For an important announcement:

I did it.

I. Did. A. 10K.

6.2 miles.

First time ever in my life. And I feel terrific. Not wicked fast. Not terrible at a 10:43 pace. Two 15 second water breaks and that was it.

I am so damn tenacious but I am sure I will feel it tomorrow. It's worth it though. It was a goal and now I can start building on the next goal.

I know to some it's no big deal. That's okay, I will get back to ya when I do my 1/2 marathon!

As my reward, I treated myself to a movie at the theater. Not an ordinary movie either. I saw "Hood to Coast" a documentary about the 197 mile running road relay race in Oregon. It was only showing tonight (1-11-11) across the US. It was great, inspirational, touching (yes, I had a few tears) and some parts were wicked funny. Only fellow runners in the audience, so that was fun!

Hood To Coast Movie Trailer from HoodToCoastMovie on Vimeo.

Looks like Mother Nature is gonna kiss New England with 20+ inches of snow. Time for more snow pics so I can update my other blog!

Today was a great day!

Why I do what I do...

2011-01-11T10:53:00.000-05:00

Last night, I had someone close and influential to me ask me why I am running. My knee jerk and truthful answer was because I can't cycle on my beloved "Frequent Flyer" during the winter. I miss cycling dearly and I look forward to getting the trainer in the next few weeks.

But here is what gave me pause: I am not sure I am going to curtail the running once I get the trainer! Running is a totally different mindset for me. I have been jogging/running since high school. So jogging/running has been a necessary part of my life for over 30 years, albeit not religiously. And even though I have been doing it for a long time, I am not crazy about it. Why? Because it is hard. It is monotonous. It can be painful. It is mentally challenging.

I prefer biking. I have since I was a kid (and the scars to show for it). But the last time I was serious about biking was in the mid 80s for about a year. It's only in the last year or so that I have regained a very strong interest in it. I suppose that's because I had the money to buy a decent road bike and I had the perfect bike path to ride it safely on. Hence the 700 miles I put on the Trek last summer.

Biking, for me, is easy because I love it. I love the mechanics of the bicycle. I love the speed and the wind whipping by me. I love the burn in my quads. I love the constant need for balance and the dangerous edge of really hurting myself (sick, I know). Because of that love, I feel like it is cheating. Running is hard, physically and mentally. I can't "cheat" because I don't have the same type of passion for it.

What I do get from running that I don't get from biking is a sense of accomplishment. Because running is difficult, I feel I have accomplished something on every run, whether I am on a treadmill or darting between the cars in the streets of Lowell. I have signed up for 4 races between now and mid-March which gives me goals to successfully get through the winter without jeopardizing the weight loss and to maintain the "I am an ex-smoker" commitment to myself. If the race proceeds are going to a good cause, all the better! I am not fast so I don't have any of these grand illusions of placing in a race, but I have that incredible craving to accomplish something hard. And the esprit-de-corp at a road race is unbelievable and addicting. I cannot help but think that most people at a finish line are there for the same thing: to do something good for themselves, to challenge themselves and to participate in fund raising for the "Cause" races.

As for biking, I have absolutely no desire to race. Or at least I don't right now! If anything, I want to get better and faster so I can go on the bike further before the sun sets at night!

There is something I would like to add. I live on the Merrimack River. Do not be surprised if you catch me blogging about rowing on the river this summer. Rowing is right up there with biking in terms of enjoyment. Yes, I love cross training. It's in my blood (well, to be truthful, it's probably because of my ADHD!)

Like anything major in my life, crossing that finish line is my goal.

What are your goals and what drives you?

Blah

2011-01-09T19:00:00.003-05:00

You know, going through my blog posts, when I talk about any one of my workouts, it's usually somewhat positive.

Well, not tonight. Blah! Blech! Pitooey!

Simple 5K was all I could do tonight. Slowly. Shins burned tonight. Really not sure why which makes it maddening to me trying to figure out what not to do next time.

No energy, no motivation. Plus there was a gym rat who insisted on slamming the weights down after each of his sets. Once he made his loud "I'm here, look at my muscles" announcement, he would take his hulking body to the water fountain, take a slurp, and grunt back to the weight machine and repeat. Well, the gym is small, very small, so he was about a foot in front of the treadmill every time he did this. All I could think of is that he resembled a caged animal. Back and fourth in front of the treadmill for 30 minutes and it was really distracting for me. He was a complete zone killer.

But I am not blaming him, mind you. But I realize how important it is for me to visually zone out. I stare at this particular part of the wallpaper for my entire workout, hardly ever looking down at the treadmill stats. For the longest time, I thought my music was the most important, but that may not be the case.

The silver lining? His behavior almost made me stop thinking of my burning shins... And perhaps I can use his behavior to build up my mental toughness.

;-)

A little slow but right in the thick of it

2011-01-08T22:02:00.001-05:00

So I ran across an interesting blog of a fellow runner girl challenging her readers to run at least a race (any distance) per month in 2011. I'm like, oh yeah, I am all in! Granted, I am a week late, but I am sure I can be added to the challenge.

So I emailed Sherry and she officially and graciously added me to the challenge.

And I loved the blog name: Run for the BLING of it!!!

Of course, I have already got January covered with the 1st Run here in Lowell.

February is covered by two races (a 5K and a 3 miler) and as well as March with a 4 miler and a 5 miler.

As for April, I am really thinking of doing something totally crazy and that is drive or fly out to Cincinnati to do the Flying Pig 5 or 10K. I just love the name of the race. I have never been to Cinci, but I hear they have got a great zoo, so I could be a tourist while I am there! If that doesn't work out, there is a 5k in Andover in the beginning of April that I will enter.

Way off in the distance, I am looking at a half marathon in St Petersburg in November. Yep, I said it, a 1/2. Not sure if it is realistic. But I do know I moved pretty quickly from a 5k to just short of a 10K (probably will be doing 10K's by the beginning of April). And geez, having a goal of FL in November would be awesome.

It's not that I can't do the distance. I am really not tired with the 5 miles I am doing every other day right now. Endurance is not an issue now that I have quit smoking and I am still losing weight. In fact, I will be adding about 50-65 miles of biking per week once I get the trainer. My issue is I just get so bored! But perhaps that comes with the territory with treadmills.

All of this could be pipe dreams. I have set some lofty goals for 2011. But what the heck? Isn't that the whole purpose of a new year? I am up for any challenge, or at least I have the positive attitude for any challenge!

Arrrggghhh's and Ooooooooo's

2011-01-06T19:02:00.005-05:00

Okay, I have used my blog to rave about various things I own and use. For instance, I love my Trek 1.2 WSD (aka "Frequent Flyer"). I love my Mizuno Wave Riders. I loved P90X when I had the time.

Other things I love? All my iPods! I don't know what I would do without my music. I love the Mizuno Maverick Split shorts that I run in. I love the Pearl Izumis shorts that bike in.

But here is my rant: I hate the Sportline Solo 915 Heart Rate watch I have. I bought this to monitor my heart rate and calories burned.

The description: Women's heart rate watch with Any-Touch technology responds to a single touch anywhere on the stainless-steel case. Delivers accurate ECG heart readings in mere seconds.

Mere BS. It just does not work. If you are chugging along running, it takes at least 7-10 seconds of your finger on the steel case to get a heart rate. That's not totally easy to do because you have to watch the small watch face to make sure that it picked up the heart rate. 9 times out of 10, it doesn't hold the heart rate and just resets. After a workout, most of the time, it registers that I have burned 85-110 calories after a full hour on the treadmill. Again, BS! Tonight it went haywire and the calorie count was just cycling from 0 - 90.

Time for the garbage can. Kind of pissed that I spent $60 just 6 months ago on it. Buyer beware.

So because I have been battling this watch, I have been looking for a replacement. The GPS ones are totally cool (I am a geek, what can I say). The Garmin 405CX is on my wishlist. It does a lot of sporty, geeky things! Everything is wireless from what I understand. Using their ANT+ technology you can wirelessly send workout results to your computer. You can share workouts with other 405 users. It has a heart rate monitor and calorie counter. And it also has an optional cadence counter for the cyclist in me and a foot pod monitor for those times on the treadmill or when GPS is unavailable. Nice!

But of course, I have a dilemma. Nike.

Nike just announced that they teamed up with TomTom and are coming out with their GPS enabled watch in April. And it's way up there on the way cool looking scale

Darn. I might just fall for this one. I especially like the easy to read watch face. I already have a Nike+ account. I have two foot pods.

And I am gonna admit to something totally dumb, but what can I say, it's who I am: I love neon colors (especially lime). How much do I love the neon colors? I still remember my beloved Nike Air Pegasus running shoes from 23 years ago... mainly because of the neon green swoosh. I felt fast in 'em (I actually was back then evidenced by me placing in some of the local races!)

Anyway, we'll see. I have heard the price will be between $199 and $299. The Garmin 405CX is about $350, so the Nike is looking pretty good right now.

I am such a geek!

Emotions and finish lines

2011-01-04T18:37:00.000-05:00

Tonight I decided to do some HIIT on the treadmill. There is nothing like having a crappy day at work and just taking it out on the treadmill. Did very well with a 10 minute warm up, 20 minutes of HIIT and then 20 minutes of a slow run.

There is something to be said for HIIT training. I feel weird for admitting that I love it. Maybe I am not alone. But I feel cleansed after an intense work out. My body feels cleansed as the sweat evaporates on my skin, but my mind feels even better. Maybe things are finally breaking through for me. There is a particular song on my iPod that was playing as I was crossing the finish line of the 5K race on Saturday. And I quite literally broke down crying and I had to disappear behind the Elks building to regain my composure. I was overwhelmed with a flood of really good emotion. That this year, somehow, is gonna be an awesome year. Nothing like how hard and incredibly crappy 2010 was. That the power lies within me. I just need to trust that first step.

Well, tonight, as I was passing the 5K mark on the treadmill, witnessing my best 5K time yet, that song played again on the iPod. And the tears welled up again. But I learned that tears and running are really hard to do combined...so I did what I thought was best and kept running! I am sure there are some people that would argue that running wasn't the best thing to keep doing...sorry, I can't give up the chance of a shot of intense endorphins. Whatever is going on, I welcome it. It must mean that things are starting to get easier. I may be alone, but I am strong enough for me. Yes, I have an incredible group of friends, co-workers, family and a great therapist, but in the end, it's me carrying myself over the barriers, goals and finish lines. The support system around me may provide me water, cheer me on, clear a safe path, etc, but it is me that decides to bring each foot around to get me one step closer to the goal. I haven't given up on that next step, that next beat to my rhythm.

All this chugged away in my mind as I passed the 5 mile mark... I know a 10K is totally within my reach by the spring. I could do it today, I know it. But I want to complete a quality 10K. For now I will continue to build up speeds for a decent 5K.

Happy New Year to me

2011-01-01T19:34:00.006-05:00

Seeing that last night was New Year's Eve and my birthday, you would figure I would cut loose a bit. Well, I behaved. A few glasses of wine and a glass of champagne to bring in the new year and that was about it! After all, I had a 5k to run in the morning!

Yep, I started out my new year with the 2nd annual 1st Run here in Lowell. What a fun and well organized race! I had signed up in November, so I wasn't one of those folks that signed up last minute after they saw the weather forecast of 50 degrees. In fact, because I had no idea what the weather was gonna be like, but I had an idea of what the weather should have been like, I purchased $125 worth of cold weather gear. All of that stayed home today!

I did wind up over dressing. What a weird feeling to be wiping the sweat off your brow on the 1st of January in the middle of New England, but that was what happened. I should just wore a t-shirt and shorts, but live and learn. Despite being too hot, I still had my best time yet! In fact, I took over a whole minute per mile off my pace from the Thanksgiving Day Trot. So the treadmill is paying off. No pain what-so-ever. Everything felt good even though I knew I was doing a faster pace than my treadmill speeds.

My day was topped off with going to the movies with friends. And not just any friends, mind you! These are the ones that know how to make kick ass peanut butter fudge and share it amongst their friends. Not one sliver of guilt was felt as I caved to that first piece of fudge! Thanks E and K for great company and a wonderful Christmas present treat!

Yes, it's been a good day. And a great way to start out 2011! Time to also think of doing something even more challenging, like a 10K. Thank goodness I have all year to think about it!

Now if I can figure out who left me the most adorable voice text message last night, my day would be perfect! Time to google this one out.

;-)

5th Gear Please

2010-12-31T12:11:00.002-05:00

Many of those who know me, know that I am extremely sentimental. I always have been.

2010 was a bittersweet year. Some of it so tragic at the unnecessary and painful losses and some of it so joyful from the beautiful new discoveries.

What 2010 taught me:

That I do not miss losing 30 lbs of me.

That my old friend Nick O Tine was never really my friend, but an excuse to tuck away my fears and to cover my truths.

That endorphins are perfectly fine to get addicted to. Ingest daily!

That I am so, so thankful that my abused body has not failed me and I have learned to take care of her properly.

That because of (peri) menopause, my minds eye is starting to get clearer.

That I am able to freely share the artistic flair that resides in me with so many and I am so blessed that many enjoy my offerings.

That money can't buy me happiness, but it can buy me the best darn therapist in the world!

That PTSD, SAD, ADHD are just letters. But there is only one, distinctive, Janice (aka: J-Lo, Jama, Jan... LOL!)

That even though that my work family was broken up, the friendships have endured, the laughter continues, the smiles are as bright.

That changing work locations brought many positive aspects to the table even though the commute is much more difficult.

That the two or three relationships that I did lose this year were backfilled with at least two dozen wonderful and treasured new relationships.

That through the wonders of technology, the lost friendships from as far back as 40 years ago have come back together and are even stronger than before.

That it can be safe putting your full trust into a handful of people who actually care and love you for just who you are. Knowing who they are is the challenge.

That because of the tragedies and triumphs, I have never been more authentic, real and raw than I am today.

Each day, one or many of my friends shares with me a laugh, gives me a thought to ponder or lends me a shoulder to lean on. You know who you are. And on each and every one of those days, I thank the universe a hundred fold for your existence.

Popping the clutch as I stomp on the gas, 0 to 60 in no time flat, 2011 here I come and 2010 will be far in the rear view mirror.....

No back to the future for me because, as they say, we will never make it out of this alive.

So let's continue to make it a fun and lasting road trip together.

Peace to all and have a Happy and Safe New Year

This and that with the body tonight

2010-12-29T20:25:00.001-05:00

I didn't have time to get lunch today because I was busy buying an Apple TV and a new TV for my bedroom. An early birthday present to myself. But when I did get home, I chomped down on a Clif bar because I knew I wanted to hit the treadmill and would bonk out if I didn't eat something.

Later on the treadmill, the first 3 miles were no problem. Even though I upped the speed a hair today, legs felt good, shins were quiet (I have been consistently wearing the Wave Rider 14s now), breathing great... until I got an awful side stitch. I haven't had one of those in eons. Usually I can feel the small ones come up and they are readily squished with a deep breath in and a very slow breath out. Always works! Well, not tonight. I finally gave up around the 3.5 mile mark.

So even though I had the Clif bar about an hour before I ran, it was still too close.

Over the summer, I purchased one of those digital blood pressure cuffs. I had been consistently monitoring my resting heart rate and BP. I have always had lower than normal 120/80 blood pressure (like I don't get too worried if I see 96/64 like I did tonight). But I was curious to see if my resting heart rate is better now that I am 6 months cigarette free and still 30 lbs lighter. And it has. I know I need to take it first thing in the morning, but even this evening, my heart rate was about 64-66 consistently. Going back through the history of the monitor, just 5 months ago it was in the mid to high 70s. Taking care of me, eating right finally and getting the endorphins I crave have paid off.

Onward!

Puzzles

2010-12-23T18:02:00.004-05:00

I am good at puzzles.

All kinds. I just like figuring things out. ~~Sometimes~~ Most of the time I get obsessed with it. Hyper-focused because of my ADHD. This trait has been pretty handy for much of my life. And I embrace it.

For instance, for a period of 4-6 weeks this past fall, my lungs felt awful. Like I had smoked 2 packs of cigarettes awful. It really had me incredibly worried. But also incredibly curious! So as my mind thought the worst (I was dying, I was sure of it), the more reasonable side of me was so baffled by it. It was constantly on my mind as to what the problem was.

In the end, it turned out that I was having an awful reaction to the new air freshener that I bought for my vehicle. Usually I don't drive my vehicle more than 15 miles a week. But for a period of about 4 or 5 weeks, I was driving it a lot visiting my mom when she was in the hospital, driving to family functions, that sort of thing. I was in my vehicle a lot. With the windows closed. As soon as I figured out what I thought it was, I tossed the air freshener, and voila, no more problems with the lungs. I am just bummed because I really liked the scent of the freshener!

So the dilemma with the shin splints had me worried. I rarely have been plagued by them (going back 30+ years) I had a few ideas where they may have come from, but I didn't want to publicly announce it until I had a better grip on things. I knew it had to be three things: me revving up the incline on my lunchtime walks on the treadmill. Or my feet where not adjusting well to the new Keen boots I bought for my 2.5 miles of daily walks to and from the train station. OR my new Mizuno Wave Rider 14's felt weird because they fit weird. And that would have really bummed me out because I really like them and I would be out $100.

In the end, it was kind of the Mizunos and my big toe. With the 14's, I mentioned in a previous post that they felt different than the 12's and 13's. The mid-sole seemed stiffer and the toe-box was narrower. Because of that narrowness, my left big toe did not fair well when I did my first run, a 3 miler, in them. And I suppose I was unconsciously favoring my left leg to compensate for the big toe pain.

Well, trimming my toe nail solved the pain issue. I gave it a week or so for the toe bed to heal. Put the 14's on tonight, peeled through 5 miles with no pain in the toe and marginal awareness of my left calf and shin. I expect my legs will be back to normal in a week or so. The good that came out of this is that I learned some awesome stretches for the shins! And I don't need to toss my new Mizunos (or my toe for that matter)!

Iza happy camper!

Pushing Past Pain

2010-12-21T19:41:00.003-05:00

Tonight, I figured out what to do about the shin splints....

Push past it. Right at the 20 minute mark, my left shin was on fire. But I could feel the pain shift and radiate to the calf. I dove deeper into my playlist and I just kept going. Before I knew it, I was going past the 5 mile mark. I was lost in deep thought. When I wasn't deep in thought, I was listening to the new tracks on my playlist. With no pain....

I know that you are supposed to listen to pain. But I am wondering if my mind is putting the "pain" there to have me stop mentally which will lead me to quit physically.

Anyway, a long time ago I said I would post my playlist. Me being me, my interests are all over the place. So what I was listening to over the summer does not resemble anything that I am listening to now. But I will say this-- I am back to my usual music that I have loved for years and years and that is trance. Fast paced, make you just want to flail your arms and dance music.

So here's my 1.5 hours of pure Trance heaven

Seek Bromance (Avicii Vocal Extended)

(Feel Me) Through the Radio (Inpetto Vocal Remix)

Amsterdam [Smith & Pledger Remix]

Surrender

Rush (Super8 vs. Orkidea Mix)

Change the World (Vocal Extended)

Nothing Better Than Life (Pvch Club Mix)

Heart On Fire (Noel G Club Mix)

Your Touch (Merayah Radio Remix)

Another Day (Sunfreakz Extended Remix)

Take Me With You (feat. Emma Hewitt)

Shadows (Inpetto Remix)

Gravity Of Love (Judgement Day Club Mix)

Life is good...

Ouch

2010-12-20T20:18:00.002-05:00

I don't injure easily. If I do, I ignore it for the most part. I plow thru the pain. If I am feverish, I still work out, thinking I will sweat the fever out of me. Most of the time, this works for me.

But shin splints suck! And it stopped me dead in my tracks last night on the treadmill after about 20 minutes. I was not a happy camper.

Fortunately, it was only my left leg. It has been bothering me for the last few days. Off to the internet to find some stretching exercises and fortunately, the ones I found and did last night allowed me to get a 4 mile walk in at work today.

The other issue that has me a lot more worried is what I believe to be ischial tuberosity pain that I have been suffering from for the last month. I am monitoring it closely, trying to determine if it because I am running/walking more and riding less now. You would think with the sit bones being affected that my sit bones would be a lot more happier running than riding, but that may not be the case.

Today it seems better. It maybe because of the extensive stretching I did last night. All I know is I didn't hobble off the commuter rail this morning or tonight, so I am in better shape than Friday. I could barely walk!

The last possibility is the new Mizunos. But I don't think they are the problem. I will give them a try tomorrow and compare notes.

Keeping the fingers crossed!

Wow....

2010-12-17T19:44:00.000-05:00

Yes, all I can say is "wow". Oh, and yes, I cried.

Letter to my Body from Ally Marks on Vimeo.

My Facebook status tonight

2010-12-16T20:41:00.005-05:00

"Endorphins, chocolate, Fridays, friends, 85 degree weather.... these are some of my favorite things!"

Got the endorphins tonight with a 5 miler on the treadmill, Friday is 3.5 hours away and I will be spending the afternoon with friends on Saturday.

We have a snowstorm coming in on Sunday so I best buy some hot chocolate.

That leaves me with 85 degrees.... I better plan that vacation to Florida in the spring!

PS

2010-12-14T19:25:00.001-05:00

For those of you who know me personally, you know it's been a tough year for me. I keep believing things will get easier, but it hasn't reached that point yet. It's around the corner. I just know it is, but there's still some stairs to climb and heavy doors to unlock.

Today was harder than normal. Tuesdays usually are.

But if I just settle in, let things just be, not talk myself out of a run and actually leave a pounding on the treadmill, I invariably always feel better.

Tonight is no different. Endorphins are my natural high, like it is for so many people. It's remembering what it feels like after a hard run that gets me on the treadmill in the first place. Let the 'phins flow through my veins!

I capped today off with a great veggie lasagna dinner from Trader Joe's and I am now on the fun iTunes search for new workout music. Music keeps me in a happy, grounded state (though you wouldn't call it that if you saw me dancing all over my apartment)!

The days may be hard, but they are necessary.

Mizunos

2010-12-14T17:26:00.008-05:00

A couple posts back, I mentioned I picked up a new pair of Mizuno Wave Riders. Those were 13's. On Saturday I got another pair but the latest and greatest, Wave Rider 14's. I couldn't tell a lot of difference between the Wave Rider 12's that I started with last year and the 13's. But boy, there is a huge difference between the 12/13's and the 14's. The most peculiar feeling is the actual midsole support (on the outside of my foot, not the inside). It's more pronounced on my left foot. The toes seem to be a bit narrower too.

The test is actually putting them to use. Jumped on the treadmill tonight and at first I thought I was going to be annoyed with the strange feeling of the outside arch support. But it wasn't the case. 4.25 miles and no pain in the shins. In fact, I could have keep going. I tested at different speeds from jogging to 8 minute miles. All felt good. How I feel tomorrow will be part 2 of the test.

Now I am not a slave to fashion...but the latest colors rock... fuchsia and white!

It's the simple things...

Another 15 miles

2010-12-12T15:51:00.000-05:00

I snuck another 15 mile bike ride in yesterday! It wasn't exactly warm out (about 43 degrees), but it was tolerable. Riding past and seeing Heart Pond with a complete layer of ice was my reminder that winter is here, but I am still refusing to give in!

Treadmill work still happening. Working on HIIT (which I love...I know, I must be sick). Kurt Kinetic to be ordered after the holidays.

It's all good.

:-)

Winter Updates

2010-11-28T20:16:00.004-05:00

OMG! It's been some time since I posted...

Of course, the whole work move/schedule change really put things topsy-turvy for me, but after 2 months I think I have come up with a good solution.

I have been testing various workouts and the best I have come up with is one that involves me walking about 6 miles a day 3x times a week and running (treadmill) 3-4 miles a day 3x times a week.

This week was kind of neat because I completed a 5K Turkey Trot. This was my first "race" since the same time last year. Did much better this year (as well as I should since the weight loss and quitting smoking) and I had no pain the next day. I know I could have done much better, but as per usual I had to use the rest room (nerves) immediately at the start. So I could have bailed, but I decided not to and push through it psychologically. I also got crazy and took the bike out Saturday in 40 degree weather for a 15 miler. That was the first ride in months. I loved it and the only thing that got cold were my toes.

It is apparent to me that my first love is riding. I am getting ready to purchase a Kurt Kinetic fluid trainer in the next couple of weeks so I can keep up with the biking muscles over the winter. But I would like to take running a bit more serious because I respect the endurance and mental mindset needed for running. Hence the reason I picked up another pair of Mizuno running shoes yesterday. Thanks D.A.F. for the Mizuno recommendation. The Wave Riders are the best shoe I have ever used.

In the end, it's all about balance...

It's been a while and sugar cubes

2010-09-13T19:39:00.002-04:00

Almost a whole month since I last posted. Wow! That's about the time my work office moved to the new location. The same time I started having to get up at 3:30 AM. Ugh. Yeah, it's taken a while to get in the groove.

But the reason I am posting has nothing to do with work or exercise, but all about life and its sweetness.

Yesterday I decided to go shopping. And splurge on me. I have kept the weight off for quite a few months and in fact, I started losing again without trying. I am assuming this is due to the change in schedule and the stress. And even though it has been stressful, I still haven't had one single cigarette since June. That in itself is a testament to just how strong, committed and downright stubborn I am! And that's with nothing. No patches, no fake cigarettes, etc. Just an occasional piece of gum when I really feel a strong emotional urge for a cigarette. I can get thru the physical urges just fine.

I went to one of the larger malls to see if I could find some more jeans. I have bought so many pairs of new jeans in the last 5 months. But I am now down to a size 6/8 and the 10/12's just drop from my hips. What a great feeling!

On a whim, I decided to get my hair done too. On a busy Sunday afternoon, I felt lucky considering I was a walk-in.

Dillan, the stylist, made me feel like a queen immediately. He listened to the woes of not having my hair cut in 5 months and that I went thru a period of time were my hair was coming out in what seemed like clumps to me. He quickly assured me that stress could be the cause of that, but my hair was starting to grow back in and it looked healthy. I loved him already!

I found out that Dillan was in his mid 30's and living with his mother in Lowell. Great! We had something in common. He shared his story with how he was originally from Laos, in refugee camps in Thailand and eventually made his way to the US in 1986. He shared the feeling of what it was like to have two shoes that matched for the first time here in the US. How we have so much food here. How it was so worth the pain and suffering he and his family endured in the camps just so he could experience the American way.

In the end, we both gave each other goosebumps by stating at the same time that "every human being deserves peace and happiness". It was a profound moment and one that I won't forget. He is a gentle old soul, who has seen so much already, but is still determined to drink from the cup of happiness.

And to that, he made me realize that my troubles are nothing as compared to what he has experienced. I should let stuff go and let my self live. In happiness. Without guilt or remorse.

Thank you, Dillan. Thank you for that sweet cube of sugar. I look forward to seeing and learning from you again.

What does Starbucks and I have in common

2010-08-22T17:14:00.005-04:00

I spent nearly 6-7 hours yesterday walking. Walking and watching people, capturing moments with my camera. It was a good day.

Today, I spent the day walking indoors. Shopping. In a mall. I haven't done this in months. I spent a grand total of $17 on kitchen gadgets. I refrained from obtaining the blender I would like for my smoothies. My current one is on its last legs (smells like burnt rubber every time I use it). I also refrained purchasing the new iPhone 4g. I really want it because that's what geeks crave and do. But I am so reluctant to change the phone number I have had for 5 years (it's questionable whether I can transfer my current number since it's a prepaid thru T-Mobile).

I did spend $25 on an eye exam. I haven't had an exam in years. But I have been in great need of reading glasses over the last few years, I wanted to make sure that's all I needed. In the end, I have 20/15 vision. Go figure! But it feels good to know that everything is okay in that department since I rely heavily on my eyes for my job (systems analyst) and more importantly, my photography.

Anyway, what has this got to do with the title of my post? Nothing really, except I am sitting in Starbucks right now as I write this. And looking around I noticed they have a display describing their coffees.

"Familiar and friendly, extraordinary and enticing, adventurous and assertive, interesting and complex, sturdy and powerful".

Sounds like me. To the t.

Changes about to come

2010-08-17T05:20:00.001-04:00

So I seemed to have fallen off the wagon lately. I have and I haven't.

I am actually deprograming myself because as of next week, I am in for some major life changes. I don't want things to be a total shock to my system.

My place of employment is moving our offices further south of Boston (of course, I live near the border of NH) and essentially, my commute will be an extra 2+ hours a day (about 5+ total commuting time a day). Because of this, I will be down to about 4 hours a day for me time. This includes getting ready for work in the morning, dinner time, lounging time, computer time and workout time. Another words -- no time for a normal life.

So for the last week or so, I have been pretty grumpy about all of this, just trying to figure out how I am going to juggle it and still take care of my basic health needs (eating right, exercising and good sleep). Magic 8 ball says: "it ain't gonna be easy" (at least it isn't saying "you're screwed" -- yet). I got to day 55 for P90X and I am so disappointed that I had to give it up. There was just no way, without really compromising on the sleep, that I would be able to make it all the way to day 90.

In the meantime, trying to seek solace, I have been very active with my photography and the photoblog. My photography has a calming affect on me and right now, that's exactly what I need. I suppose it's my form of Prozac.

My goal is trying to figure out if I can get 3-4 runs in a week. It really depends if work will offer me a work at home opportunity. I think the odds are good for 1 or 2 days a week of working from home. I don't want to get my hopes up. We know what can happen with that.

So that's my update. The good news I have stuck to the diet and I haven't had one cigarette in two months despite all the stress. More times that not, I am forgetting the nicotine patch, and I am getting thru the day with one or two really intense urges, but it's totally manageable. And sometimes I forget that I was a smoker. That is a ROCKING great feeling!

Movie time

2010-08-14T19:31:00.000-04:00

I went to the movies this afternoon with a friend of mine and saw "Eat, Pray, Love". A dear friend gave the book to me last year and I absolutely loved it.

I can say that they did a great job on the movie by following the book closely. As in the book, there are lots of hidden messages that people should really contemplate. I know there were a couple for me. Yep, it was a tear jerker. It was very personal for me.

I believe my word is "seeker".

One other thing

2010-08-11T07:46:00.000-04:00

I forgot to add that I did a full mile at an 8:35 pace. Couldn't believe it. Just last November I did a 12:40 pace and I was dying!!! It's amazing what can happen by dropping 30 pounds and quitting smoking.

Nah, it's not really amazing. It just feels really, really good when I congratulate myself publicly!!!

I think I have earned the right.

;-)

Much better

2010-08-10T20:39:00.004-04:00

Jumped on treadmill tonight for a 5 miler. Yes, much better. Good times, good form, good attitude.

I am finally dealing with the fact that the Trek is only going to be able to be taken out on the weekends. It's getting to be too dark by 7:30 pm to be doing the bike trail. But, maybe it's just as well so I can get used to running more than two times a week.

Not too sure what hit me over the last 4 days, but I am glad it's over. PMS (yes, it's official, it's back) and I was not feeling well stomach-wise Thursday night. But it was more my attitude and that's what bothered me. Sometimes the mind needs a break more than the body. I have been going full tilt since May and the stress from work is starting to build.

But maybe I just needed a bit of a pep talk last night. Thanks for righting the ship, LW. Much better on all accounts.

It's all good. I am my own warrior!